


Perfectly Complicated

by lea_ysaye



Series: Town & Country [4]
Category: Actor RPF, Norman Reedus - Fandom, Real Person Fiction, The Boondock Saints RPF, The Walking Dead RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Headaches & Migraines, Het, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Light Bondage, M/M, Sex, Sickfick, Side Effects, Whump, infections, this is a sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-06-05 12:29:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6704605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lea_ysaye/pseuds/lea_ysaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Filming for The Walking Dead has started again, and for Lea and Norman new challenges are being added to the already familiar ones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let me say it again: This is fanfiction. None of it is real. I make up all the drama in my head, and I have no knowledge about the actors’ private lives beyond what they share with all of us on social media. 
> 
> I'm so excited to come back to this tale, I won't lie. :) I missed my favourite dysfunctional couple...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter is pure whump. Please take note. I apologise to those readers not familiar with my love of inflicting pain. I swear the rest of the story will have other themes. I'm not promising there won't be more whump later, but it'll be mixed in more.

Norman closed the front door behind himself with a sigh. He rubbed his eyes, wincing at the grit scratching the corner of the left, sore one. His head wasn’t exactly aching, but there was a numbness on that side of his face he knew only too well. He had worked too hard, for too long, without a break, and now his head wanted to let him know that it was payback time.

Filming hadn’t even started yet, but he had been in costume all day, posing with the bike, with the crossbow, and with his cast mates for the new season’s promo shots. Holding one position for what felt like hours had done a number on his back. How could just standing around be so tiring? _Well_ , he thought wryly, _you’re just not as young as you were_.

He pressed one hand against his left side and rubbed his back hard all the way to the spine and back, then made his way into the living room. The house was quiet, which was a relief after a long day of chatter and laughter, but he had to admit it felt a little lonely. How good it would be to have his doc there with him for the night.

But of course she had her own life, and a job she dearly loved. She couldn’t just uproot to Georgia just because his main gig happened to be here for seven months out of the year. He had never been arrogant enough to suggest to any of his girls that they should give up what they loved just so they could follow him around, but this time he could foresee the separation being especially difficult. He would miss Lea constantly, and he was a little scared. They had only just gotten over their break-up, which had easily been the most painful time in recent years. Would he be able to stay true to her when she was so far away, and her presence couldn’t remind him just how lucky he was to have her? Norman wanted to make this work and he was determined do his best to be worthy of his doc. But it would be hard, he knew.

With a wince at the twinging in his side he dropped onto the sofa and pulled his phone from the back pocket. He unlocked it, but then paused. Was Lea working tonight? She had told him her hours the night before, he was sure, but now he couldn’t remember.

Norman sighed and rubbed his eyes again. Great start, for fuck’s sake. Maybe he really was too old for this job. He felt beat, and his brain was sluggish and fuzzy. There was a hint of nausea deep inside his gut, and an odd, unpleasant pressure somewhere below his navel. He shifted around a little, frowning.

Then his phone started to buzz, startling him. Norman glanced at the screen. It was Lea, and he nearly dropped the phone in his haste to pick up the call.

“Hey, baby girl…”

“Evening, darling. Is this a good time, you home yet?”

“I am, yeah. Was just about to call you, actually.”

“How was the first day back? They easing you back in slowly?”

Norman snorted. “I wish. Photo shoot all day. I think I pulled a muscle standing still for twelve hours at a stretch.”

“Oh no, I’m sorry to hear that. Make sure you got to bed early, you hear?”

“I will. I’m glad we’re getting back into it, tho, I really am. Just cranky cuz I’m sore…”

He had to adjust his position again, his back was killing him. And the weird, heavy feeling in his lower abdomen was getting stronger, too.

“It’s only one more day until the weekend,” Lea said. “And that’s why I called. I messed around with my schedule, and I can indeed get away tomorrow at lunchtime. You still want me to come early, right?”

“I do, yeah! Call the number I gave you and change your flight. I’ll have someone pick you up, we’ll still be at the studio if you come on the earlier plane. You wanna come around and meet the gang? We won’t do anything tomorrow, you and I can hang at home, but at least I'll introduce you to Mel and Lauren, and anyone else you haven’t met yet.”

“Sure! Can’t wait to meet them.”

“They’re very curious about you…” Norman broke off with a yelp of pain. There was a sudden, sharp stab in his pelvis, like a knife slicing back and forth.

“Darling you ok?”

Norman was struggling to his feet with difficulty, hand pressed against the painful spot. He hesitated for a second. Should he tell his doc? But then he got a grip. What kind of a baby was he? “Yeah, I’m fine. I just really gotta pee.”

“I better let you go then. See you tomorrow, honey.”

“Can’t wait, babe. Love ya…”

“And I you. Bye!”

She rang off and Norman dropped the phone onto the sofa, nearly bent double. He hadn’t lied, he really needed to go, and badly. What he hadn’t told Lea was that his bladder was now filled with a thousand razorblades.

As he hurried down the hall toward the downstairs bathroom Norman was certain for a minute that he wouldn’t be able to make it. He was unzipping his fly with fumbling fingers as he went when another sharp pain sliced through him, this time all the way down his left side.

Groaning Norman pushed through the bathroom door and got in front of the toilet. As his bladder began to empty in fits and starts he couldn’t suppress a sob. The pain was excruciating.

This, he mused dimly through the haze of pain, was the worst it had been so far, but by no means the first time that it hurt to pee recently. He threw out a hand as his knees threatened to buckle with the searing agony in his groin.

He had to stop, it hurt too much. With a mighty effort Norman managed to cut off the flow, closing his eyes as the room started to spin around him.

After a minute, when he felt less like passing out, he opened his eyes again. As he tucked himself away he noticed red streaks in the toilet bowl.

Blood in his pee, fucking fantastic.

But right this moment Norman couldn’t spend time worrying about it. Dark shapes were erupting before his eyes, and he was starting to shiver. Sweat was cooling on his forehead and neck, and he felt more than a little sick.

Half blind with dizziness he stretched out one hand and flushed the toilet, holding himself steady against the wall with the other. Then, one hand still on the wall, he made his way slowly back into the hall. He thought about returning to the sofa. It was closest, and he felt shaky and weak. But Norman knew he would need the bathroom again soon, and if he went upstairs now he could lie in bed, with the en-suite only a few steps away.

As Norman moved slowly up the stairs he started to feel better. Hopefully he’d be all right with a little rest. In the bedroom he toed off his shoes, then awkwardly stepped out of his jeans. Still shivering he climbed onto the bed and wriggled under the comforter. He remembered vaguely that he still had to take his pills and feed Eye, but for now he couldn’t contemplate getting back up.

He did get up again after thirty minutes, but not from choice. Norman awoke from his doze with a yell of pain, and one thought in his head, which swirled round and round as he struggled to his feet.

It would be a miracle if he didn’t wet the bed that night.

*

After another short flight there was another dark and luxurious limousine at the other end. Lea yawned, relaxing into the leather seat. She had never thought she would care for these things, but traveling in style wasn’t all that bad. For one, when you got to where you were going you had at least a chance of not feeling completely brain-dead.

Not that she needed to be especially well rested for this evening. All they would do once Norman’s workday was done was go home and put their feet up. Lea was determined to make that happen. He had sounded distracted when they had spoken briefly that morning, and tired, soso tired. Lea felt a pang of disquiet at the thought. She had asked him if he was ok, and he had reassured her that he was. But she hadn’t quite believed him then, and she still didn’t now.

It would have been great if Mingus could have come with her. That would have definitely taken Norman’s mind off work, and the two of them could have gone out with the bikes again. But Mingus wasn’t well enough yet for bike rides or plane journeys. He was back at school, and making progress with his walking every day, but it would be a while yet before he had fully recovered from his head injury.

The boy was staying with his mum for the time being, but Lea had offered to be at the penthouse sometimes if he wanted to spend a few nights at his dad’s place. Lea knew that Mingus liked it better there, and she wouldn’t mind. Sometimes being at Norman’s made her miss him more, but she felt closer to him there. It would take some getting used to, Norman being away from the city for weeks at a time.

And Lea knew she would worry about him working too hard out here. It seemed he had already started to overdo it again. He hadn’t exactly come back to Georgia in his best form. The off-season had not actually meant time off for Norman. All the traveling, battling with the migraines and the side effects from the drugs, and then their break-up had taken their toll. Mingus’s accident had been the final straw.

Now the limousine was slowing down and Lea craned her neck. She had been gazing at the lush, green trees whizzing past while lost in thought, but now she could see a set of high metal gates through the windscreen. Norman had explained to her how many precautions the studio had to take these days to keep the overeager fans out, and the show’s secrets inside the walls.

A few people were hanging around outside the gate, even though to Lea this place looked like the middle of nowhere. The fans, for Lea assumed that that was what they were, glanced at the car with curiosity, and she shrank back into the seat, grateful for the darkened-out windows.

After a short conversation between the driver and the guard at the gate their car was being waved through, and now Lea leaned forward curiously, studying their surroundings. On both sides of the graveled driveway stood big trailers, with steps leading up to narrow doors. These had to be the trailers where the actors rested while not needed on set.

The limousine stopped halfway between the gate and a set of tall, sprawling buildings in the distance, which Lea surmised had to be the actual studio.

“Here we are,” the driver said with a glance at Lea, and she opened the door. Climbing from the car she stretched. There were no people around, and the late spring afternoon air was warm and quiet.

The driver had lifted Lea’s suitcase from the boot and now put it on the gravel by her side. Then he pointed at the nearest trailer.

“That’s Norman’s.”

Lea smiled at the man. “Thanks, Mike.”

He smiled back, waving his hand as if to say that it was nothing. “Call me if youse two need someone to drive you around this weekend, ok?”

“Cheers,” Lea said.

Mike got back into the limousine and drove slowly toward the studio. As Lea watched him go she noticed someone walking toward her on the grass next to the gravel. After a moment Lea recongized Andy. He gave the car a quick wave, then sped up when he saw her. He arrived by her side within one minute, panting a little.

“Hey, didn’t know you were coming early.” Andy leaned in and gave Lea a quick peck on the cheek. “Norman didn’t say… Have you seen him yet?”

“No, I literally just got here. Is something the matter?”

“I’m not sure,” Andy said and turned toward Norman’s trailer. “He was a bit off today. Couldn’t get out of the shoot fast enough. Looked a bit pale, too, like he didn’t sleep well. I thought he must’ve been busting for a wee, the way he sped off…”

The disquiet Lea had felt earlier returned. Wasn’t that why he had finished their call so suddenly the night before, because he badly needed the bathroom?

Andy was now climbing the steps to the trailer. “Thought I’d catch him in make-up, he was still in costume when he left. But he wasn’t there, so as soon as they got the dirt off me I came over.”

Lea followed Andy across the grass, dragging her suitcase. Andy knocked softly on the door and they waited, but there was no answer. He tried the door and it swung open. As Andy stepped into the gloomy trailer Lea climbed the steps after him, leaving her suitcase on the side.

“Norman? You in here?”

There was no light on in the main room of the trailer, and at first all Lea could see were vague shapes as Andy made his way toward the back of the room.

“Shit,” Andy said softly and hurried his steps. Lea followed him inside, and only then did she see Norman.

He was standing in the doorway to what she guessed to be the bathroom, framed by the light behind him. One of his hands was pressing into his side, while the other was supporting him against the handle of the bathroom door. He was listing to one side, and as she drew closer Lea could see that he was shaking badly.

Andy got to Norman’s side first and reached for him. Norman let go of the door handle and grabbed for Andy’s arm instead. Lea saw with worry how unsteady he was on his feet. Andy’s arm went around his middle, and Norman leaned into his friend with a shudder.

“What’s going on, honey?” Lea got to his side now, too, and his eyes focused on her, bright with pain.

“Hurts so much, doc…”

His face was gray, and there was perspiration on his forehead. At first Lea thought that this had to be another migraine attack, but for once Norman’s hand was nowhere near his head. As he leaned toward her he staggered, and Lea placed a hand on his chest, then wrapped her other arm firmly around his shoulders.

“Easy, darling. Let’s get you lying down.” She led the way toward a large black leather sofa standing against the side wall of the trailer. “Where does it hurt?”

“M’back. And here…”

Norman's hand came away from his side and pressed hard onto his pelvis instead. Lea frowned as she started to shift them around so she and Andy could help him lower himself onto the sofa. He went down clumsily and when Lea helped him stretch out she noticed that his arms and face were covered in dirt. She knew that had to be the make-up he hadn’t had time to have removed before the pain got to him.

Andy grabbed a couple of pillows from a chair and put them under Norman’s head. Then Lea sat down by his side.

“That sounds like a urinary tract infection. Does it hurt when you pee?”

“Yeah…”

Lea put her hand on Norman’s back as he curled up on his side, groaning. She rubbed him gently, thinking.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Few days…”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Or someone here?”

Norman shrugged, then glanced at her, looking ashamed. “Didn’t wanna be a pest…”

His eyes flitted over to Andy, and he blushed a little under the pallor. Lea could tell he had something else to say.

“What is it, darling? It’s just Andy and me, you can tell us.”

Andy looked at them with sympathy, then stepped away and into the bathroom. Lea was grateful for his tactfulness. When the tap started running she looked at Norman intently. “So what is it?”

“I…I can’t pee right. Ever since the new pills. Never feels like I’m done, but…it just stops before it should. And it hurts sometimes. Hurts less if I don’t try too hard…”

“That’s probably what has caused this, holding it back without meaning to. Did you tell the neurologist that you had problems?” Lea already knew the answer. Norman looked at her, abashed. She gave a sigh. “Why not, honey?”

“The pills work really well for my head. I didn’t want to mess that up again…”

“Oh Norman…”

At that moment Andy returned with a wet wash cloth and handed it to Lea. She took it and wiped Norman’s face and neck, which were covered in feverish perspiration.

“I’ll drive you guys home if you want,” Andy said.

Lea considered. “We should probably take him to A&E.”

At that Norman looked panicked. “No hospital…”

“Honey,” Lea began but then broke off because Norman had turned a shade paler still, curling up around a hand pressed hard on his lower belly. She was already on her feet when he started to push himself up and off the sofa.

“You feeling sick?”

“No…need the bathroom. Oh god…”

Andy stepped close and together he and Lea got Norman back to his feet. But as soon as he was upright Norman pulled away from them both.

“Can manage…”

Lea watched with worry as he staggered toward the bathroom and out of sight. The door banged hard behind him. She got it, that he wanted to be alone for this, especially since it looked like his digestive system had decided to get in on the trouble, too. But she felt uneasy. He had seemed very weak and unsteady to her. The last thing they needed was for Norman to fall over in the bathroom.

Andy walked toward the door and Lea looked around. “I’ll go get my car, and tell Greg what’s going on. You ok with him for a few minutes?”

“Sure.”

“Get him to lie down again when he comes out. I’ll come back and help, ok?”

“Thanks, Andy.”

When he had gone Lea hovered anxiously, both listening for sounds from the bathroom, and trying not to. Finally she heard the toilet flush, and a minute later Norman reappeared.

Where he had been pale before he was now entirely without color. His lips looked bloodless and his shirt with cut-away sleeves, which Lea guessed to be Daryl’s, was soaked with sweat. She hurried to his side and he collapsed into her with a sob.

“Shit… ’m so sick of this crap…”

“Oh darling! Come on, let’s lie back down.”

Lea was half carrying him even though she could tell Norman was trying not to lean on her too much. They went down rather hard, and he held on to her for a minute, his head buried against her neck. His forehead burned against Lea’s skin, and she kept her arms around him, trying to soothe his shaking with a hand on his neck, the other stroking his back.

When he pulled away, hands back on his pelvis and lower belly, Lea looked at him with worry.

“Do we need to get up?”

“No…”

Lea got to her feet. “Then lie down. We’ll wait for Andy, he’ll drive us.”

“No hospital.”

“Ok, no hospital. But I got no meds for this…”

Norman curled up on his side and Lea covered him with a blanket, then crouched down by his side. She took the washcloth from the coffee table and wiped his face gently. Norman kept his eyes closed, but she could tell he wasn’t asleep. His hands kept moving restlessly under the blanket and he gave little shudders every so often.

“Oh darling, I’m sorry you’re ill again. I thought we finally found the right meds.”

He opened his eyes and regarded her, pain etched deep into his pale features. “’m sorry I’m so much bother…”

“Don’t ever say sorry for this, honey. It can hardly be your fault, now can it? We’ll keep looking for something that’ll work…”

There was the sound of tyres on gravel, and a moment later a car door slammed. Lea glanced toward the door.

“That’ll be Andy,” she said. “You think you’ll be ok in the car?”

Norman started to push himself up as the door opened and Andy reappeared. “Yeah, I’ll be ok.”

“Lea, I put your suitcase in the trunk.” Andy grabbed a jacket from the back of the door and brought it over to them. “Told Greg I’m taking you home.”

Lea took the jacket. “Do we need to get you changed, Norman? That’s costume, isn’t it? Won’t they need to wash it?”

Andy answered for Norman. “Doesn’t matter. They got duplicates of everything. He can just bring this one back Monday, or whenever he’s well enough to come to work.”

Norman had struggled into the jacket with Lea’s assistance, and Andy bent down by his side now. “Here, let me help.”

Clinging to Andy Norman got to his feet. He looked even paler now, and Lea didn’t like the pinched expression on his face. She knew what it meant.

“You feeling sick?”

But Norman shook his head. “’s ok. Let’s go…”

“I wish you’d let us take you to the hospital.”

Andy smiled at her. “We can get a doctor to come to his place. They know us, it won’t be the first house call. This show is a bit of a health hazard, you see.”

“All right then,” Lea agreed, feeling a little reassured. As long as they could get someone to prescribe antibiotics and the right kinds of painkillers she wouldn’t argue the case.

They filed out of the trailer and down to the car, Andy solicitously helping Norman navigate the stairs. Lea was glad that she didn’t have to do it all alone this time. She helped Norman climb into the back of Andy’s Jeep and buckle himself in. He looked even more unwell in the light of the early evening, and Lea didn’t like how warm his hands felt in hers. When he was safely strapped in Lea walked around the car with Andy and climbed into the middle seat, scooting close so Norman could lean into her. He did so immediately and Lea put her arms around him.

Andy turned around when he had sat down behind the wheel. “I’ll be quick and not stop, but people might still see you both when we go through the gate.”

“No matter,” Norman said, his voice tense but determined. “They’ll know soon anyway. No more hiding…”

Lea felt a little excitement bubble up, despite their current predicament. Norman meant it, she knew, and while she was nervous about what his fans would have to say about her she was ready to make their relationship official. But then Norman shifted against her with a sigh, and Lea’s full focus returned to his misery.

Andy looked at him with a frown. “You sure you gonna be ok till we get home? It’s at least half an hour at this time of day.”

Norman nodded, but Lea could feel a tension in him that told her he wasn’t really convinced himself.

“Just go as quick as y’can.”

They didn’t speak after that. Lea leaned back and kept her face down as they went through the gate, and Norman did the same. As they sped along the road Norman kept shifting around, sometimes clinging to her, sometimes drawing his legs up, trying to ease the discomfort. Lea put her hand on his lower belly when he gave a quiet moan, rubbing it gently through the shirt. She could feel his insides twist and gurgle.

After about fifteen minutes Norman’s restlessness increased. They were driving along a quiet, narrow country road, and Andy glanced at them in his rear view mirror.

“Norman, what is it?”

Lea turned her head and pulled away a little to get a proper look at Norman’s face. His lips were tightly pressed together, his skin a faintly green color.

“Honey, I got no sick bags on me…”

“Do I need to stop?” Andy’s voice was tense.

Lea glanced ahead, then behind the car. The road was deserted in both directions. “I think you better.”

Andy quickly pulled over onto the grassy shoulder, and as soon as they came to a stop Lea reached past Norman, pushing open the door. It wasn’t a minute too soon. Norman leaned out of the door, already gagging. Lea held on to him but unbuckled the seatbelt so it wouldn’t cut into his aching midsection. He heaved again, and sick splattered into the grass and against the side of the Jeep.

“’m sorry, Andy,” Norman choked when he could breathe again. “Your car…”

Andy, who had turned around in his seat, eyes full of concern, waved the apology away. “Unimportant. You feeling any better?”

Norman, eyes closed, thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “’s ok for now.”

Lea fished some tissues out of her pocket and handed them to Norman, who wiped his watery eyes, then his mouth, and tossed the tissues into the grass.

“We’ll be home really soon, honey. You think you’ll be ok, can we keep going?”

“Yeah…”

With some difficulty Lea got the door closed again, then pulled Norman close. He rested his head on her shoulder with a sigh as Andy returned the car onto the road.

A hand on Norman’s sweaty neck Lea stared out of the window, feeling morose. This, she thought dully, had no chance of becoming the restful weekend she had been looking forward to.


	2. Chapter 2

Unsurprisingly, they didn’t leave the house that weekend.

When they got to Norman’s Lea helped him inside, and he made straight for the downstairs bathroom on unsteady legs. She hovered anxiously, and jumped when Andy closed the front door behind himself, which in their haste Lea had left open.

Andy was talking on the phone and motioned at her as he came down the hall. “Lea, can you talk to Dr. Patel? He agreed to come over, and if you can tell him what medication you think Norman needs he can bring that along.”

Lea took the phone, but then hesitated, eyes on the bathroom door which was still closed.

“I’ll take him upstairs when he’s ready, don’t worry,” Andy said, and Lea gave him a grateful smile, then took the phone through to the living room.

By the time she had agreed the best course of treatment with the nice doctor at the local hospital, who sounded like he was calling from an East London A&E rather than somewhere in the Southern states, Norman had emerged from the bathroom, shaking and ashen-faced. Andy had his arms around him again, and they were just starting to climb the stairs. Lea joined them.

“Dr. Patel will be here in an hour,” she said. “He’s bringing Bactrin, and Prodium for the pain. He’ll take a urine sample to analyze, just to make sure it’s not some more uncommon bug.”

They got Norman, who seemed disoriented and didn’t say anything, stripped to his boxer shorts. Lea put a t-shirt on him and they settled him into bed. He was asleep within two minutes. Lea regarded the smudges of dirt make-up on the sheets and sighed.

“I’ll stay, if you like.”

Lea turned to Andy who, she noticed with faint amusement, had just lined up Norman’s shoes neatly beneath the chair where she had flung his costume pants and shirt.

“That’s very nice of you, thank you. But you don’t have to…”

“Tell you what, I’ll stay until the doctor has been, just in case anything else needs fetching.”

Lea gave him a grateful smile. “All right. Thank you, Andy.”

“Don’t mention it.” He half-turned toward the door. "I’ll go make a cuppa. You want one?”

“Please. White, no sugar. Could you also make some ginger tea? Norman needs to drink something as soon as he wakes up.” Lea walked around the bed and toed her shoes off. “I’ll stay here, in case he needs to get up quickly.”

As Andy walked from the room Lea climbed onto the bed and propped herself against the headboard carefully so as not to jolt the mattress. Even though she wasn’t touching him Lea could feel the heat coming off Norman. It was like sitting near a radiator.

Andy returned with three mugs on a tray and a small plastic basin under his arm a few minutes later. He put the basin on the bedside table.

“Thanks,” Lea said. “I’d almost forgotten.”

“Just a precaution,” Andy said. “I wonder why he’s been feeling so sick, and his gut’s giving him trouble too?”

“Sometimes that happens with a UTI. Or it could be more side effects from the Effexor. It’s a bummer, really. That is one of the best new drugs on the market, and if he can’t tolerate it…”

Andy gave Lea a sympathetic glance and handed her one of the mugs of tea. It was proper builder’s tea, and Lea involuntarily sighed with pleasure at the smell. “Someone who knows how to make tea, at last. I think I need to come out here more often.”

“You really should, you know.”

“Yeah, maybe… we’ll see.”

Lea and Andy drank their tea in silence for a few minutes, until Norman began to stir. Andy hastily put his mug down and hurried around the bed to help Lea get Norman back to standing. He was moaning quietly, one hand pressed to his middle. Andy put his arms around him gently and Norman leaned onto his friend hard.

“C’mon…”

This time Norman didn’t protest when Andy took him all the way into the bathroom. The door stood a little ajar, and Lea hovered anxiously.

“Sit down, mate,” she heard Andy’s voice, and breathed a sigh of relief. Andy was just the kind of guy they needed right now. Then she could hear Norman’s moans grow louder, and her heart hurt with sorrow for her guy.

They got Norman back into bed, and Lea set about convincing him that he needed to drink the ginger tea.

“No, ‘s just gonna make me pee more…”

“Exactly. The extra liquid helps get rid of the bacteria more quickly. Sounds unscientific, but it’s true. And you’re not alone, we’ll help you when you need to get up, honey.”

Norman, eyes feverish and tired, looked unconvinced but then nodded. He let Lea pull him into her arms in a half sitting position and snuggled close with a sigh. But when she got the mug from the bedside table he suddenly sat up straight, looking panicked.

“What is it?” Andy, who was standing by the window, took a few steps toward the bed. “You need to get up again?”

“Someone needs to feed Eye!”

Lea looked at Andy. “He’s right, I completely forgot. Sorry, honey, I should’ve remembered…”

“I’ll do it,” Andy said. “And I’ll buzz the doctor in when he gets here. You both stay here. Relax, Norman, everything is under control.”

Norman, whose worried gaze was still on Andy, nodded, then sank back into Lea. As Andy left the room she lifted the mug.

“Small sips, honey.”

The time until Dr. Patel arrived went by slowly. Norman dozed fitfully in Lea’s arms, the worsening fever not allowing his body to properly come to rest. Lea took his temperature several times, and it spiked at 103 degrees just when the doorbell rang downstairs.

Dr. Patel was kind and efficient and confirmed Lea’s diagnosis. “Bad case of a UTI. Bed rest, fluids and antibiotics, and hopefully it’ll clear up within a week.”

“What do we do about the Effexor, though? The infection might not clear if we don’t deal with the urinary retention quickly,” Lea asked. The doctor smiled.

“For the moment, I suggest you reduce the dose to 75mg. I had a quick look at some recent studies before I set off, and anything higher than 75mg seems to confer no benefit in migraine patients, and makes the side effects worse. Norman’s neurologist should confirm this, of course, but I see no harm in reducing it to 75. But do it slowly, the same way he built it up to the current dose.”

Andy helped Norman to the bathroom, to collect a sample for the doctor to take away and analyze. When he had gotten Norman back to bed Andy sat by his side and looked down at his friend with a sad expression. Lea watched them from across the room, where Dr. Patel was writing out a top-up prescription for the painkillers.

Norman’s eyes were closed, his face tense. He had curled up on his side, and Lea saw the pain from the bathroom visit dissipating only slowly. Andy placed his hand on Norman’s head and Norman leaned into the touch.

“Poor buddy,” Andy said quietly. “Wish I could help you feel better, mate…”

When Dr. Patel was done with the prescription and was packing away his things Andy got up from the bed. He came over to them and motioned at Norman, who now lay very still.

“He’s dropped off. Thank you so much, doctor. I can show you out.”

Lea smiled at him gratefully. “Your should go home too, Andy.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, quite sure. It’s getting late. I’ll give him the meds in a bit, and get a bit more tea into him. And then, maybe, I can catch some sleep, too.” Lea felt exhausted. She had hoped for a quiet evening, and really had badly needed it. But it just wasn’t meant to be for them, ever.

“Ok, but if you need anything at all, no matter what time, call me.”

“Will do, Andy. Thank you so much. Really, you being here made all the difference tonight.”

Andy left with Dr. Patel. Lea went back over to the bed and looked down at her guy. Poor Norman. What had he done to deserve this? Really, what had either of them done to have their weekend ruined like this? She sighed and climbed back onto the mattress to keep watch over him.

Lea had decided to leave the next dose of meds for when Norman woke up naturally. Dr. Patel had injected the first round of antibiotics and painkillers, and she was glad to notice that when he woke next Norman was less frantic and felt less hot under her hands. He turned over, eyes slightly bleary but lucid.

“We’re home.”

“Yes, darling, we’ve been home quite a while.” Lea stroked his hair gently.

“Andy was here, and the doctor. I remember now... Andy gone?”

“He left a while ago, with Dr. Patel. How’re you feeling?”

Norman thought about it for a moment. “Tired. And sore…”

“How’s the pain? Better than it was?”

“Yeah… I need to pee, but it’s almost ok, not like I’ll burst any second…”

“Should we get up?”

Another thoughtful pause. “Yeah, we better.”

Lea helped him to standing. “Should I come with you?”

“Nah, ‘m good.”

“Ok, but sit down.”

“Yes, mom.” He gave her a tired little smile that Lea returned. She watched him go and when he had closed the door behind himself she moved closer, to be ready to take him back to bed.

There was nothing for a long time, and Lea was getting nervous. Then, “Fuck…oww! What fucking shit _is_ this!?”

Lea hurried to the bathroom door. “What is it, Norman?”

The reply was more cursing, then, “’s the same old shit, fucking hurts like a bitch…oww, dammit!”

“Shall I leave you alone?”

There was a pause, but when he spoke again Norman’s voice sounded very small. “Actually…”

“Or shall I come in?”

“Ya.” He sounded embarrassed and close to tears. It really had to be bad if he wanted her, Lea thought. She slowly opened the door.

Norman sat on the toilet, hunched over and arms wrapped around his middle. His boxer shorts were pooled around his ankles, and Lea could see that his toes were curled tight with the pain. It was a pitiful sight. He wouldn’t look at her and kept his face averted. Lea could see his shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs.

She went over to him and put her hand on his back. His t-shirt was soaked through with sweat. He gave a small sob and his left hand groped for hers but he still wouldn’t look around. Lea took his hand and he clung to her hard.

“Oh honey…”

“’s such bullshit, this…”

“I know, darling. And I’m sorry…”

Lea stepped close and let Norman lean into her. She stayed quiet while he finished, crying the entire time with the pain.

They didn’t talk while she helped him up and back to bed. The whole ordeal had taken more than twenty minutes, and Norman was exhausted. Lea tucked the blankets around him, then sat on the side of the bed and waited while the color returned slowly to his face, and his body unclenched.

“Darling, I got your meds, but you have to take the pills with food. The painkillers especially. I’ll make some toast, ok?”

Norman looked at her, disgust at the thought of food evident on his face. “Do I have a choice?”

He sounded pissed off and Lea got it completely. She didn’t take it personally. Instead she just stroked his face gently. At first she thought he might pull away, but then he sighed and closed his eyes.

“Not really, I’m afraid.” She patted his cheek once more, then stood. “I’m leaving the door open. Don’t get up. If you can’t wait, call me, ok?”

“Right.”

She walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs, feeling frustrated. Of course this was impossibly annoying for him, and there was so little she could do to help. Why could they not finally find the right meds and be done with all the misery and side effects?

The mood didn’t improve much that night. Norman ate half a slice of toast and drank some more tea, but then turned a gray-greenish color and Lea quickly took the plate and mug away. She hovered, hand near the basin, certain the little bit he’d managed to eat would come straight back up. Thankfully it didn’t, and after twenty minutes she gave him the pills with some water.

Norman followed all her instructions and did what he was told, but he wouldn’t look at her, or speak. When he had swallowed the last pill he curled up on his side, his back to Lea. She knew he was still battling nausea and pain, and left him in peace. After a quick sandwich in the kitchen she stripped off her travel-dusty clothes, considered and dismissed the idea of a quick shower, and crawled into bed. Better to get some rest while she could.

*

Things started to look up somewhat the next morning.

Lea awoke from the mattress descending and shaking next to her. She turned over, rubbing her eyes.

“Do you need to get up?”

Norman shifted around a little awkwardly until he was lying on his back, then gave a sigh. “Just went.”

“What?!” Lea sat up and looked him over. “Why didn’t you wake me? You ok?”

“Relax, baby girl, it’s ok.” He looked at her with tired eyes. Lea could still see the fever in them, but his gaze was steadier, and less pain-riddled. “It was ok, really. Didn’t hurt too bad, and yes, I sat down.”

Lea frowned. “I’d really rather you let me help…”

He grinned slightly and took her hand. “I do love you, doc, but you sure fuss a lot.”

Lea gave a reluctant grin back, relieved to see his mood improved. “Well, there’s a lot to fuss about with you.”

A shadow flitted across his eyes, but then he brought her hand up and kissed her fingers lightly. “Ain’t that so… ok, yes, you can help.”

Cautious now, Lea regarded him. He was still in an odd mood, all right. “Yeah? What do you need?”

“Coffee would be awesome. And I’m dying for a smoke.”

There was a real glint of the mischievous Norman in his eye now, and Lea mock-slapped his shoulder gently. “Hah, sure. How about a lap dance with that?”

“Maybe later…”

Lea studied his face. This last bit, while still attempted in a mock tone, had sounded awfully tired. He was much too pale and his lips were cracked and dry. “You should really drink something, though not coffee. How about some more ginger tea?”

“Yeah, sure...” Norman sounded like he was on the verge of falling asleep again, and his eyes were mere slits. Lea pushed some strands of hair off his face, and he gave a little sigh.

“How I hate this, doc… another ruined weekend. Fucking meds…”

“Oh darling, I don’t mind. I came to see you, and now I get you to myself all weekend. I just hope you’ll feel better soon…”

She bent down and kissed his brow, then got up. “Toast or cereal for breakfast?”

“Ugh…” He made a face. “Toast, if I have to.”

“Yes you do, else no painkillers.”

“Convinced.” He turned over onto his side, facing the door. “Don’t be too long. Miss ya…”

“No you don’t, you’re already asleep.”

While she made breakfast Lea thought about that last thing he had said. It had been in jest, but maybe he had meant to hint that he really did miss her more than he had thought he would. She had been reluctant to tell him that she found the separation, and the thought of it being a constant thing for the next seven months, more difficult than she had expected. He didn’t need a clingy girlfriend. But maybe they should talk about it, and think of ways to make it more bearable for them both.

When Lea returned to the bedroom with their breakfast on a tray Norman was fast asleep. She didn’t wake him, just put the tray on the dresser and took her cup of tea over to the window where she sat in an armchair, enjoying the early morning sun on her face. Lea had made herself a cup of strong tea. It seemed too mean to drink coffee in front of him when he couldn’t. She would get her fix later. First she would make sure Norman was fed, medicated and settled for the morning.

He woke up after about twenty minutes, and Lea brought him the breakfast tray. She sat on the bed facing him and ate her porridge. Norman only managed one slice of toast before he pushed his plate away with a queasy expression. It was better than nothing, and Lea gave him the pills and watched over him until he had finished all the tea. Then she helped him up to use the bathroom, after which she tucked him back in. All in all it went better than Lea had feared, and his pain appeared much more manageable than the night before.

The rest of the morning passed quietly. Norman slept, and Lea went back into the kitchen, replenishing her depleted caffeine reserves before setting about making chicken soup. She was surprised to find that he had all ingredients in the house. On her trawl to see whether she could make a lunch he would be able to eat without having to go shopping (or have an emergency grocery delivery; Lea didn’t know how these things worked in the country) she found half a chicken in the freezer. While the soup simmered she fed bits of carefully deboned and cooked meat to Eye who sat close, purring.

Lea checked on Norman every twenty minutes or so. When she went to wake him for his mid-morning dose of antibiotics he was already awake, and looked at her with a little smile as she crossed the room.

“I was gonna call you in a minute…”

“You need to get up?” Lea asked, setting another cup of ginger tea by the pills on the dresser.

“Ya.”

He hardly needed her help now, but Lea was touched he had done as she had asked him to and not gotten up without help. Once he was on his feet he was much steadier, and didn’t feel so warm under her hands.

She waited for him to come back, and when he did Lea was taken by surprise when he made a beeline for her. Norman wrapped his arms around her and buried his face against her shoulder. Surprised but pleased Lea returned the embrace and stroked his back. Neither of them spoke for a minute, but it was a familiar, comfortable silence. The only note of disquiet was that he felt a bit too warm against her again, and the sweat on his back and neck was beginning to make him shiver.

“Thanks for being so awesome, baby girl. Sorry I was a dick yesterday…”

“You weren’t, not really. And I didn’t do anything.”

“Course you did, you always do. You put up with me.”

He gave a proper shudder now and Lea pulled away. “Sit down on the bed. I’ll get you a fresh t-shirt, you’re soaked. We can talk when you’re horizontal again.”

Norman obeyed and Lea quickly swapped his shirt and gave him the antibiotics. Then he crawled under the covers and she tucked him in once again. He looked up at her for a long moment, then reached out and cupped her face. Now Lea was the one leaning into the touch with a hum.

“I missed you, doc…”

So it hadn’t just been a joke. She smiled down at him, studying his pale, slightly sad face with affection. “I missed you too. This is harder than I thought it would be. I mean, we’ve been apart a lot before, but I always knew you were coming back after a few days. Now your life is here, and maybe you’ll visit, maybe not…”

He sighed. “Yeah… that never worked so well, having a girl in the city when I’m down here. I mean, the last couple… it wasn’t serious, but…”

He stopped there, blushing. Lea thought she knew what he was thinking. She took his hand in hers and stroked his wrist.

“Don’t worry, I won’t get clingy…”

“No, I know,” he agreed. “You’re not the clingy type. But I might turn out to be… I don’t like it, being alone in the new house. It’s so big… I like having you here, and not just cuz I’m ill…”

“I can come and visit often. At work we can request our confirmed shift schedule a month in advance, I’ve just never done it before. And half my clinic days can be long shifts if I put in for it early enough. So I get lots of three- or four-day breaks. And then I can book a whole lot of flights at once, and not leave them until the last minute.”

She knew that Norman didn’t mind paying her expensive last minute flights, but Lea always had a bad feeling about the money he spent on her. Making a saving would help set her mind at ease, and better planning meant their life would be more ordered.

Norman’s face lit up as he thought about it. “That would be great. Only, I might not always get the same days off…”

“That’s ok, though, isn’t it? At least I’ll be here when you get home. And I do know how to drive; if you don’t mind my driving the Jeep I can amuse myself. Lots to see, not been to this part of the country much.”

He grinned. “Sure, you can drive the Jeep. But I’d much rather teach you to ride the bike. I would even ride bitch with you.”

That gave Lea a funny image in her mind’s eye and she laughed out loud. Norman grinned at her laughter, but then he suddenly shifted and gave a groan, the hand Lea wasn’t holding scrabbling under the covers and onto his middle.

“You ok, honey?” Lea was already halfway to her feet, poised to help him up quickly, but then he shook his head.

“’s ok. Just a twinge. Stupid, useless…” The hand still holding Lea’s tightened on her fingers.

“Oh darling… Better go back to sleep now. We can talk later.”

He sighed. “Yeah ok…”

She kissed his cheek, then got up and walked to the door. As she turned the ceiling light off she watched him curl up on his side, hands balled together in their usual place on the pillow. Her heart ached in sympathy.

Lea next woke Norman for lunch. He looked at her blearily, and for a minute Lea wasn’t sure he knew where he was. She placed a hand against his forehead, then his neck. He definitely felt warmer again.

“How’re you feeling?”

“Achey… and I need t’pee…”

“Come on then.”

She got him up, but reluctantly let him pull away from her and go on his own. When he returned his eyes looked a little clearer. He made a face at her as he padded back toward the bed.

“I look like shit.”

Lea smiled and tugged on some strands of his messy bed-head hair as he sat down on the mattress with a groan. “Just a little. It’s cute, though.”

He stuck his tongue out at her. “Don’t call me cute, you’re not one of those crazy fans on twitter. _Omg Norman, you’re so cuuuute_ …”

His tone was light-hearted but Lea frowned. They hadn’t talked about his fans other than the biting incident and the break-in.

“What exactly do you do with them on that social media? And really, they call you cute? That’s a bit weird, no?”

Norman pushed himself back on the bed and stretched out, then snorted.

“You got no idea, baby girl. Being called cute is the least weird of it all. Mostly it’s funny, but… maybe I’ll show you, some other time…” He pointed to the tray on the dresser. “What’s that?”

“Lunch,” Lea said. “I made you chicken soup.”

“I had chicken in the house?”

Lea grinned at his surprise. “Yes, in the freezer. Someone must’ve bought it recently.”

“Probably Maria. She comes to clean,” Norman added when Lea looked confused. “She thinks I don’t eat right, so sometimes she does the shopping, too.”

“Well, I’m glad she brought this. Sit up now, soup’s getting cold.” Lea went over and got the tray. “Do you get deliveries here, too?”

“Yeah, I got accounts with different places, mostly for local produce. It’s all online. Remind me to show you how it works so you know what to do if we run low.”

“When you’ve shown me how to drive the Jeep I can run down to the shops, too, right?”

His face darkened at that, but then he nodded. Lea had a strong feeling that there were things he wasn’t telling her, and that feeling got stronger when he changed the subject with his next words.

“Riding the bike really is more fun. The roads are made for it down here.” Then he grinned. “Haven’t told you yet, I went down to Griffin the other day and bought half a dozen koi. I put them in my backpack and drove them back on the bike. Was worried I’d get pulled over the whole drive…”

“Koi? You mean the fish? In your backpack? Oh Norman!” Lea shook her head, laughing. “Why not have them delivered?”

“They were all I could think about when I was driving down with Eye. I thought they’d look nice in that pond… and I thought better do it before all the craziness starts up again. They’re really beautiful. Mine are real small right now, but they’ll grow a lot. We can go out tomorrow maybe, and I’ll show you."

He pointed at the soup bowl with his spoon. It was already half empty. “This is really good. I don’t think I’ve ever had chicken soup with rice before.”

“It’s how we make it in Germany,” Lea smiled. “I’m glad your appetite is coming back.”

“You bet it is…”

They were quiet for a few minutes while Norman ate more soup. However, after a few mouthfuls he put the spoon down and gave a little hiss. His hand was back on his middle and he squirmed slightly. Lea took hold of the tray.

“You ok?”

“Dunno… stomach cramp…”

“Maybe that was enough for the moment.”

“Probably.”

She got up and took the tray back to the dresser. “Lie down on your side. Or do you need to get up?”

“Nah, ‘s fine.” Norman scooted down and curled up on his side. When Lea returned to the bed he had his eyes closed, and his face was pale again. The crease of pain on his forehead was already diminishing, though. His hand had moved under the covers onto his belly.

“Let me…” Lea snuck her hand under there, too, and put it against his aching stomach carefully. Norman took her hand and moved it to the aching spot, and Lea rubbed gently. Norman relaxed under her touch and gave a little hum of thanks.

“You almost sound like Eye when he’s being petted…”

Norman grinned at that but kept his eyes closed. “He’s been an asshole ever since we came down. Pukes everywhere…”

“But you still love him.”

“Course I do. Mingus doesn’t like me taking him away…” He glanced up at her quickly, then hid his face against the pillow. With the hand that wasn’t busy rubbing his stomach Lea took Norman’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“You miss him, huh?”

“Yeah…another reason why it sucks being down here this year. That thing with his head was shit, but at least he wanted to actually spend time with me after that. And now I’m not there, and he can’t come down…”

“He’s doing better every day, though. Helena keeps me up to date, and I’ve talked to him most days. He’s a great kid.”

Now Norman smiled at her with gratitude. “He is. Helena trusts your judgement, and so do I. Thanks for talking to them.”

“Hey, sure. Mingus will be able to travel again soon, and he can come with me whenever he wants. Don’t beat yourself up over not being able to be there right now. He understands.”

“He understands a bit too well, I think…”

Norman didn’t say anything else. They never got very far with this kind of discussion, but Lea knew that the guilt in her man went deep with this. It had been going on for a long while now, and it seemed that neither father nor son really knew how to make things better and get closer again. Lea felt for them both. Maybe she could do her bit in helping to fix some of the issues.

“I know he would like to stay at the penthouse more. I’ve told him I could be there some of the time, even if you’re not there. Only if you don’t mind, of course…”

“Do I mind? Of course I don’t mind! But it would be a pain for you, no?”

“Not really. Taking the subway from there isn’t half as bad as from Queens, and I could still have the car for the really stupid shift hours. There’s a car park nearby, isn’t there?”

“There is. And both cars are here now, so my spot is empty. You can have that. But you really don’t have to, y’know…”

Lea smiled at him. “I really don’t mind.”

Norman looked at her with such gratitude, Lea felt butterflies in her belly like she hadn’t since they had gotten back together.

“I do need to bring some of my papers, though. I know how you hate that clutter…”

He rolled his eyes in a comical way and gave a theatrical sigh. “You and those fucking papers…” He squeezed her hand and smiled. Lea knew he was only joking, but that smile warmed her heart nevertheless. “You can have the spare room. It’s an office, really, it’s just so full of fan mail and crap that you can’t see the desk. I’ll call Joanne, she can have that stuff stored somewhere else.”

“You really ok with me being at your house all the time?”

He looked at her earnestly. “Am I ok with it? Baby girl, I would’ve asked you to move in after the third date if I’d’ve thought you would’ve said yes!”

“Was that the night you puked your guts out, or the one where you nearly choked the paparazzi?”

He started laughing at that, but quickly broke off with a grimace, curling up more tightly. “Ouch…don’t make me laugh, doc. My body is fucked up…”

Lea frowned. “You need the bathroom? Or the basin? It’s on the floor just here.”

“Oh, my little mother hen… nah, I’ll be all right in a minute.”

“A hot water bottle would probably be nice.”

“I think there’s one in the hall closet.”

“I’ll make it for you, then. Try and relax, I’ll be back soon.”

She kissed his temple and he hummed again. Lea quickly left the room and started hunting for the hot water bottle.

 _How about that,_ she thought, _I kinda just agreed to move in with him, didn’t I?_

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is sex in this one, hope you like it. :)
> 
> A big, big thank you to [scribbledaway](http://archiveofourown.org/users/scribbledaway/pseuds/scribbledaway) for helping me get the motorbike part right! Ly, sis! x

“That’s a bike.”

“It is.”

“Uh, it’s nice?”

“You like it?”

Lea glanced at Norman suspiciously. He was grinning at her, looking excited. A suspicion formed in her mind.

“You already have two…”

“I do.”

“And this one is really small…”

Norman nodded, grinning broadly. “It is. It’s a Triumph Bonneville SE.”

“Norman, who is this bike for?”

“You!”

Lea stared, lost for words.

“And Mingus, to learn on, next year or so. But it’s yours, really.”

She wanted to say, _But I don’t ride_ , then stopped herself. He knew that, and _she_ knew what would come next. The problem was Lea wasn’t all that sure she was ready to learn to ride a motorbike.

“Norman…”

“Don’t worry, I got you lessons, too. It’s no good, me trying to teach you everything. You’d be too nervous. But we can cover the basics, at least. We got two hours before we need to be at Greg’s.”

Lea’s heart was beating furiously fast as Norman started to explain the bike to her. She looked at him with fondness and trepidation. He was so excited, she couldn’t bring herself to crush that happiness.

She had been worried how she would find him when she had arrived the day before. It was barely a week since he had gotten sick with the UTI, and he had sounded very tired every time they had spoken on the phone. Lea was needed back at work so she had left Norman, still mostly bedbound, on the Monday after their weekend spent at his house. Both she and Andy had tried to get him to stay home as long as possible, but he had gotten fed up with them quickly and been back at the studio on the Thursday.

But he appeared to be fine now. He was still pale, but when was Norman ever not pale? They had both slept well, happy to stay curled up in each other and doze long into the morning. Only over breakfast had he started to become fidgety with excitement, finally dragging Lea away from her second cup of coffee and out to the driveway where the bike was parked.

Now she forced herself to focus on what Norman was saying. He was standing next to the parked bike, pointing at the handlebar.

“Here on the right, that’s the throttle, and the front break. Use that to break, if at all possible. The button here is the starter.”

Lea looked at him when he glanced up. She still felt dazed. Norman frowned. “You with me so far? This ok?”

Lea nodded, but Norman didn’t seem convinced. The frown deepened. “D’you not wanna do this? I mean, we don’t have to… _you_ don’t have to…”

His voice trailed away, disappointed, and Lea felt suddenly guilty. Here was something her guy loved, and he wanted to share it with her. He’d been through so much, the least she could do was help him be a little bit happier.

“Of course I want to learn.” Lea gave him the biggest smile she could, then hurried around to his side and hugged him. He pulled her close and kissed her hair when she put her head against his shoulder. She tightened her arms around him. “Thank you, honey, for the bike.”

Then she let go and turned back to the machine. “Right, show me how to turn this thing on.”

Norman’s face lit up, and as he got back to explaining the bike to her he was radiating pure happiness. _I’d do anything_ , Lea thought, _to keep him in that state._ He was so sweet, and she loved him so much, her heart threatened to burst. Trying not to think of her fear of riding Lea concentrated on the pedals Norman was now pointing out.

“That’s the gearshift. Now, changing gears is a bit special…”

It took nearly ten minutes before Lea felt that she had even half understood the gear shift and the clutch. In the end Norman straddled the bike and turned it on so he could show her.

“See the green light on the dashboard? When that’s on you’re in neutral.” He waved at her to come around to the other side. Lea did, but kept her distance, not quite trusting it all yet. Norman didn’t notice, he was totally absorbed.

“You push the gear shift down, that’s the first gear. Hold on to the clutch the whole time.” He indicated his left hand which was holding down a lever against the handlebar. “Once you let that go, the bike starts to move.”

“What, without turning the throttle?”

“Yeah, but it’s really slow. C’mere, give it a try.”

“Now?” Lea felt panic bubble up.

“Sure. Baby steps. I’ll hold you, don’t worry. Just so you get a feel for it. I asked this dude I know to come out and give you lessons. His name’s Stephen, he gives classes up in Atlanta. He’ll come down tomorrow, if you’re ok with it?”

Lea felt a sense of relief. Yes, it would be better learning from somebody else. “Sure, sounds good.”

Norman put the bike in neutral, got off and held it for her. “Here, try it.”

Lea took a deep breath and swung her leg over the seat.

It was all right, really. She mostly walked the bike, Norman holding on to the handlebars, pointing out some more features and reminding her how the breaks worked.

Then he told her to take her feet off the ground for the first time, and that nearly ended badly. Even though the bike was small and light Lea only barely managed to prevent a fall. She slowly drove down the driveway for about twenty yards, then decided to stop. But when she tried to put her feet on the ground the bike suddenly felt incredibly heavy and she staggered. Heart hammering Lea was sure she would fall, but then Norman was by her side, and safely grabbed her and the bike.

“All right, babe, got ya…” He righted her and the machine, but didn’t let go. “Enough for the first time?”

“Yeah…”

He turned the engine off, helped her with the kickstand and then held her as she clambered off the seat clumsily.

“Was that too much? You ok?” He didn’t let go and looked at her anxiously.

“I’m fine, it was fine. I just need to get used to it.” Lea’s legs felt wobbly and her bad hip twinged a little. “I’ll enjoy it soon, I’m sure.”

Norman didn’t look convinced, but Lea hugged him tight. “It’s great, darling, I like it, I swear.”

He sighed and buried his face against her neck. “I can’t wait for us to ride together. That’ll be so cool.”

“Yes it will,” Lea said, stroking his hair. And she was determined to like it. He deserved a little bit of happiness.

*

“There you are! Welcome, welcome… Lea, welcome to Georgia, and the madness that is Walking Dead filming season!”

“Hi Greg,” Lea said and let him kiss her on the cheek. “This is a beautiful house, and your garden, wow… How are you?”

“Very well, thank you,” Greg said before flinging his arms around Norman, grabbing him in a bear hug. Then he looked Norman over critically. “You both well?”

Norman nodded, and Lea saw him blushing a little.

“We’re good, man.”

“You feeling better then? Denise said you came back to work on Thursday.” He turned to Lea. “I’ve been busy with props this week, haven’t seen Norman since the day he fell out. Good thing you were here then.”

“’m fine, Greg.” Norman said, sounding embarrassed. Lea frowned. It was good that his friends were keeping an eye on him, but she could see Norman was bristling under the attention.

She smiled at Greg, drawing his attention deliberately. “And I’m making sure it stays that way now. We’ll get lots of sleep when I’m here. In bed by ten every night, if I have my way.”

Greg grinned and it dawned on Lea what she had just said. He winked at her. “I bet you got your ways of getting that accomplished, doctor.”

Norman laughed, and Lea clapped a hand to her mouth, blushing. Norman put his arms around her from behind and hugged her tightly. “You’re a riot, baby girl,” he said near her ear and nuzzled her affectionately. “C’mon, let’s meet the others.”

Arms still wrapped around her Norman steered Lea toward a large table around which there was space for a dozen people. They were in the garden of a beautiful, large brick-sided house. A couple of barbeques were set up off at one end of the terrace, and several men were busy there with mountains of burgers and sausages. Lea saw Andy amongst them, and he gave her a little wave.

A smiling woman now came toward them. Norman let go of Lea and hugged the woman.

“Shari! Thanks for inviting us.” He turned around and waved Lea close. “Shari, this is Lea. Lea, Shari, Greg’s wife.”

Lea took the offered hand and shook it. “Thank you for having us. Oh, yes…” She held out the covered plate she was holding in the other hand. “I made cake, a German one. It’s called Bienenstich.”

Shari looked confused. “It’s called what?”

“It means bee sting,” Norman said, looking pleased with himself and grinning at Lea. She grinned back and took his hand. They had had a riot in the car on the drive over when she had tried to teach Norman how to pronounce that word correctly.

“Well, thank you,” Shari said and took the plate. “Please have a seat. Drinks are over behind Mel, in the coolers. Help yourselves.”

Norman squeezed Lea’s hand as he led her over to the others. He gave them all a wave. “Hey, everyone. This is Lea. And Lea, this is everyone.”

“Norman, you lazy bugger,” came Andy’s voice from behind them. Lea turned, smiling, as Andy came over from the barbeques still holding a pair of tongs. He leaned in and kissed Lea on the cheek. Then he held out the tongs. “Here, Norman, go and make yourself useful, mate. I’ll introduce your girl properly.”

Grinning, Norman took the tongs, then said loudly, “He always steals my women. Is that the polite British thing to do, _mate_?”

“You can have her back later,” Andy said, and gave Norman an affectionate slap on the butt. “I just need to talk to someone for a while who speaks proper English. You people drawl too much.”

“I don’t drawl, I’m from New York,” Norman said, throwing his arm around Andy.

“Go make burgers, Norman,” Andy said comfortably, and Norman turned away toward the barbeques. Andy took Lea by the hand and led her around the table to a couple of empty chairs. “Let’s do this properly. Lea, these are Melissa, Jo, Alanna, Austin, Sonequa and Josh. Over by the grills we also got Michael. And Steven, talking to Norman.”

Lea saw Norman deep in conversation with a young, good-looking Asian man, listening intently to what the other had to say. Whatever it was seemed to excite her man, he was smiling and nodding.

“Have a seat.”

Lea sat next to the woman Andy had introduced as Melissa and gave her a smile. So many strangers made Lea nervous, but she was determined to be as social as she could manage with Norman’s friends and colleagues. But it didn’t help her nervousness that she recognized some of these people from the few episodes of the show she had seen so far.

Melissa smiled back, but Lea felt a guardedness around the woman. She kept her eyes on Lea but didn’t say anything for a while. Lea’s discomfort increased. She groped for something to say. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to meet last week. Norman wanted to introduce me, but…”

“Yes, that was unfortunate,” Melissa said, interrupting her, but then didn’t say anything else. Glancing around Lea saw that the others were also looking at her curiously, even if not as guardedly as Melissa. She guessed that she should have expected this. Norman and his colleagues were constantly beleaguered by strangers who were curious about their every move, so a stranger suddenly appearing in their midst, here where they lived and worked, must ring at least a few alarm bells.

Andy came to Lea’s aid. “Norman is fine now, and they’ll work his shots from this week in somehow. He missed a lot of really long days. I’m glad this week’s done, bloody night shoots…”

Was it just Lea’s imagination or did Melissa shoot Andy a warning look? Lea had been about to ask for details about their week, but now bit back the question and folded her hands in her lap nervously.

Thankfully Andy changed the subject when he addressed her again. “So, what have you two been up to today?”

“Oh, Norman bought a bike, and he’s teaching me to ride.” Lea hesitated and felt herself blushing. “It’s a bit scary, actually.”

“I bet it is,” Melissa said. “He’s been threatening to teach me for years. Guess you’ll have to learn, unless it doesn’t…”

“Mel, could you give me a hand?” Shari called over, and Melissa rose at once and walked away.

“Andy, and you,” Greg called. Andy stood up too.

“You’ll like this,” he said and gave Lea a wink before he went over to Greg.

“Don’t mind Mel,” the dark-haired woman Andy had introduced as Jo said as she leaned over Andy’s just vacated chair. “She’s very protective of the guys, and Norman especially. She worries about him, he’s had a crazy time lately. But I’m sure you know that…”

“Must be a strange life, this. I’d be suspicious too, if I were them.”

“Takes some getting used to. I’ve been with Steven since the beginning, and I still don’t really get included as soon as they start talking about the show. Don’t take it personally, they’re extremely on edge this year.” Jo smiled kindly. “Andy likes you, that’s good. And the others will soon know what Norman has in you. It’s tough, being with him, you know that already. Steven told me a little of what Norman told him. Just be prepared for it to be even tougher when they’re down here.”

Before Lea could say anything, Greg’s voice rang across the garden. “Sit down, everyone, dinner’s ready!”

Norman came bounding toward the table and dropped into Andy’s chair. He grinned at Lea, pointing at Jo when she wasn’t looking. “Steven just told me…”

But Lea didn’t find out what Steven had told Norman. At that moment Greg stepped up to the table and placed a large plate in front of Norman, grinning. “We didn’t want to let them go to waste.”

On the plate, on a bed of lettuce, lay six large grilled fish, heads still attached, their eyes staring blankly at nothing. Confused, Lea looked around. Everyone was laughing.

Norman clapped his hands over his eyes and said in a tone of mock horror, “My poor babies!”

“What…,” Lea began, but then Norman took his hands down, laughing.

“I forgot to tell you! All my koi died.”

“That’s just normal carp, Lea, don’t worry,” Andy said, now stepping around Greg. He was carrying a large orange bucket. “These are koi, though. We all felt sorry for you, mate, so we got you new ones.”

Lea peered into the bucket. She could see maybe half a dozen small fish with red, orange and black spots, darting back and forth under the transparent lid.

“You guys!” Norman leapt to his feet, hugging first Greg, then Andy, then everyone else.

“He’s been fussing at me about these bloody fish all week,” Andy said and took Melissa’s former chair. “I just wanted him to shut up, to be honest.”

“Good thing we didn’t come on the bike, then,” Lea said, now also grinning.

Andy laughed. “Yeah, koi and bikes don’t go together. I hope he knows that now.”

He took a salad bowl from Mel as the others all sat down around them. Norman started cutting up and serving the carp, not accepting any excuses. To Lea’s surprise the fish was delicious.

As everyone started eating Norman leaned close and said, “How’re you finding my friends? Not too weird?”

Lea chewed her mouthful of carp slowly, using the time to think of an answer. “There are a lot of secrets, aren’t there? Everyone’s nice, but it’s like they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop…”

Norman looked impressed. “Well observed, babe. Yeah, things are a bit weird at the moment. Just don’t ask too many questions about work, and it’ll all be fine.”

“Sounds ominous…”

As Lea watched Norman’s expression clouded over. “It’s probably all for nothing, anyway. Shit gets out… but let’s be careful and keep a lid on it, so at least it wasn’t us.”

“I won’t ask any questions of you, honey. Leave work at work, and we’ll make our own fun at home.”

He smiled, then gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “Thanks, baby girl. It’ll be nice to have you around more, means I can get away from the crazy sometimes, maybe…”

Lea saw a haunted expression in his eyes for a second, but then it was gone and he was smiling again. Wondering what was going on, exactly, and faintly worried about the strain she could sense in her guy again, Lea returned to her food thoughtfully.

As she raised her fork she caught Melissa’s eye. The woman was sitting opposite her now and regarded her with a quizzical look, not smiling. Faintly unsettled Lea lowered her own eyes, wondering if she would ever manage to win that particular friend of Norman’s over.

*

They got back to Norman’s house just after midnight. _So much for early nights,_ Lea thought, _but this one doesn’t really count. He had fun, that was the plan, right?_

Even with the slightly tense vibe Lea had enjoyed herself. She had talked to Andy and Greg again, and Norman had stuck close. Melissa had watched them together, but said little. Lea supposed they would have to wait and see if the woman would warm to her. Only time would tell.

They put the koi into the pond by the glow of a flashlight as soon as they got back. Norman lowered the whole bucket into the water and stepped back.

“I had someone clean out the whole thing,” he said. “Hope these ones do better. We can just leave it like that and let them get used to their new home.”

“Won’t they be hungry?”

“Greg said he fed them earlier.” Norman looked around at Lea, and his eyes sparkled strangely in the weak glow from the security lights and the flashlight Lea was holding. “You tired?”

“Not really.”

He grinned. “Me either.”

And without another word he pulled her into his arms and started covering her face in kisses. When his lips found hers he pressed close and Lea could feel him growing hard against her. His hands were already busy with the bra clasp under her summer dress. Lea grinned against his mouth and Norman pulled back a little.

“What?”

“Are you going to ravage me in the tall grass of your plantation, oh great Southern lord?”

Norman laughed. “Not a bad idea. Something exciting for the security cameras… Maybe next time.”

He bent down and, to Lea’s surprise, picked her up in his arms. She yelped, then laughed. “Don’t, I’m too heavy…”

“No you’re not. And I’m back to weight training, see?”

He flexed his biceps and Lea laughed again. “All right then. But don’t throw out your back.”

Norman did all right getting her into the house, but when he saw the stairs he gave a little groan.

“Weakling,” Lea teased. “Let me down. Maybe I’ll carry you up the stairs.”

“Watch it, doc…”

“I bet I could manage it, somehow.”

“Probably,” he conceded, and put her back on her feet.

But he didn’t let her go. Instead, he pulled her close again, and they lost themselves in a long, increasingly passionate kiss. Lea could feel his erection press into her hip, and she began to move her lower body against him, until he started to moan with pleasure. But then Norman pulled away, panting. “If you keep doing that I’ll come in my pants in under ten seconds.”

“We can’t have that,” Lea said with a wink. “I better slow down so you can keep up.”

The truth was that she could feel her own arousal pulsing through her lower region, little waves of pleasure lapping just this side of still bearable.

“Cheeky,” he grinned. But then he blushed a little and lowered his eyes. “Could we… I was gonna ask…”

He stopped there and Lea cocked her head. “What, honey?”

He was still holding her close, but she could feel his erection subside a little.

“I, well… I don’t really know what you like…in bed. Other than the normal stuff…”

 _Ah_ , Lea thought, _that question_.

“I like many things, I’ll show you some, when I’m ready?”

He nodded, eyes still down.

“What do you like?” She put her hand behind his head and carded her fingers through his hair. Then she leaned close and whispered. “What do you want me to do to you?”

He hugged her and buried his face against her neck. So it didn’t really matter who you were, Lea mused, this sort of thing was just easier without making eye contact.

“For now, just…tie me up?”

“I’d like that, yeah…”

When he pulled away she could see that he was a little red in the face. He took her by the hand and they went up the stairs. They didn’t talk until they got into the bedroom, but a glance down showed Lea that Norman’s excitement was coming back. She could see it even through his denims. He stopped in front of the smaller of two closets.

“Stuff’s in there, in a box at the bottom.”

Lea squeezed his hand and he looked up. “Good,” she said softly.

“You sure you’re ok with this?”

He sounded nervous, and Lea briefly wondered why. She had seen his photography, and she was sure he had done wilder things in the past than just a little bit of bondage. But then she thought she understood. Any kind of intimacy took an awful lot of trust for him now. Letting anyone get close was a risk, and opening up about bedroom kinks made him even more vulnerable.

And a lot had happened to Norman that had changed him. Even now Lea could see the exhaustion that never quite went away these days, the paleness and slight fuzziness around the edges caused by his medication and the migraine.

There was desire in his eyes to have some of what he had enjoyed in the past, but also wariness and fear of what would happen if he had miscalculated, trusted in the wrong person. Lea was determined to prove to him there was no reason to mistrust her, ever.

“We’ll take it really slow, all right? I’ll be nice…”

“Thanks babe.”

He grinned a little, then let go of her hand. After that the atmosphere was a bit awkward and strangely sweet. Norman dimmed the lights, then turned on his stereo. The music was more romantic than Lea had expected. She took her cue from that when she opened the closet and looked through Norman’s goodie box. He wanted sweetness tonight, that much was clear.

There were dildos, vibrators and cock rings amongst other things in the box. Lea left all of them for another time. She had little doubt he had more hardcore toys somewhere else, too. But for now gentle was the way to go.

Lea selected a silken, purple restraint and a blindfold, put the box back and straightened up. Hiding the items behind her back she surveyed the room.

The only illumination now came from a number of candles Norman had put all around the room. He stood by the bed, completely naked. As she walked over slowly Lea let her eyes glide down the broad chest, onto his belly and to his growing erection. She let a small, appreciative smile show on her face, then looked up again.

“Get onto the bed, honey.”

He obeyed, and while his back was turned Lea put the restraints and blindfold onto the foot of the mattress. She slid the straps of her dress down slowly as soon as his eyes were back on her. The dress slid down and she stood for a moment, just letting him look at her.

“Touch yourself.”

Lea was surprised by how husky her own voice sounded all of a sudden. As Norman’s hand closed over his shaft Lea undid her bra, noticing that Norman had already half unhooked it. She let it fall onto the floor, all the time watching Norman’s hand stroking his erection.

His chest was rising and falling rapidly now, his lips were slightly parted and his breath came in fast, excited bursts. Lea stepped over to the nightstand and quickly got a condom from the drawer. Then she turned back to him and watched his hands on himself for another minute.

“Slow down, honey.”

He obeyed. Lea retrieved the blindfold and restraints and placed them in front of her by his side. Then she slowly pushed down her slip, and finally stepped out of it.

“I…,” Norman’s voice was hoarse, and he cleared his throat, then wet his lips. “I might just explode if you touch me…”

“You better don’t, or I’ll be quite cross.” Lea kept her voice gentle but didn’t smile. He wanted a bit of dominance, he could have it. But she wouldn’t hurt him, or stress him out. Not this time. “Keep yourself in check, and I’ll be real careful, I promise. Now, close your eyes.”

It was liberating, not having him look at her. Despite her outward calm Lea still felt nervous about being naked around him, aware of her less than perfect body. It helped that he was shy and awkward too about the things he wanted them to do together, but her mind still dwelt on all the perfect model-like girls he was surrounded with constantly, she couldn’t help it.

But now, with him lying perfectly still before her, eyes closed, she felt confident again. And she had some idea of what he would enjoy now, which made her happy. Lea joined him on the bed.

Norman gave a small, pleasurable shudder as she straddled him, her hand brushing his erection very slightly.

“Lift your head.”

Lea put the blindfold on him. She didn’t tie it tightly, always aware of his bad eye and the migraine. His hair tickled her wrists, giving her goosebumps.

“Arms up.”

Lea had a little experience with gentle bondage play and knew how to tie him up securely and quickly. Then she leaned back and let herself admire her handiwork. One hand reaching behind she gently cupped his balls, watching his face flush with renewed arousal, seeing his hands open and close, trying not to fight the restraints. He was squirming slightly below her, but Lea took her time.

“Shh…”

The anticipation was building. Feeling his sides rub against the inside of her thighs, feeling his shaft lying against her arm while she was still holding his balls gave her goosebumps all over. Lea knew she was ready, as wet as she had ever been with him.

She let her free hand glide, feather light, up and down his side, over his armpit and the soft underside of his bicep. He gave a shudder and a groan.

“Oh god, no… baby girl, I’m ticklish…you’re finishing me off in a sec…”

Lea tried hard not to grin. “Shush, honey. We’re not done yet.”

Letting go of him for now she leaned down and started kissing his neck, his arms, his chest. Inhaling the musky, warm smell of a day spent outside, of barbeque, cigarettes and beer. Of her man, hers only. Her fingers danced along his ribs and he trembled.

She swung her leg off him again, kneeling by his side. Moving slowly Lea worked her way down his body, licking and kissing and smelling him. The soft fuzz on his belly tickled and caressed her lips. She licked a trail down from his navel to the ginger hair around his shaft, and he gave a low hum.

Her hand found his balls again and she tugged gently. He couldn’t stop shaking now.

“Baby girl…”

“Shh, darling.”

Lea’s lips closed over the head of his erection, the hand not busy with his balls took the silky warmth of his shaft, and she gave a few gentle strokes. She loved that he was uncut. More skin to play with, more sensitivity.

She grinned around his length and exhaled hotly and slowly until he moaned again.

“Oh god…”

No more teasing, Lea could tell he was really close to losing it now. And she was ready. So quick she knew he hardly felt it she got the condom on him, then straddled him again. She guided him inside her easily, she was so slick it took hardly ten seconds for her to be comfortable. Lea knew he would never be able to make her come now, he was too close. But it didn’t matter, she had enjoyed their play immensely.

“Don’t hold back anymore, darling.”

She rocked her hips a few times, and Norman groaned. It was a low, guttural sound from deep within his chest, and as Lea quickened her movements his back arched and his breath hitched in his throat.

Lea let him ride his wave, feeling him pulse inside her, no contact now other than her thighs against his hips, his length inside her.

When he slowed down he cocked his head and slid his hands up on the headboard.

“Untie me, babe.”

She did so, and let him slide out of her at the same time. Norman pushed the blindfold down, his blue eyes on her sparkling. Breaths still coming rather fast he grinned.

“We’re not done yet, babe.”

Lea raised an eyebrow as she swung her leg over, flopping by his side. “We’re not?”

“Course not. You didn’t come, did you?”

“Well, no…”

“Exactly.” He pulled her close. “Give me five minutes, then it’s your turn.”

“All right…”

“D’you want me to tie you up, too?”

Lea considered this. She trusted him, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to completely relax if he did. “Not tonight.”

Norman glanced down at her, then nodded. “Ok. Some other time?”

“Totally.”

They lay quietly for a few minutes, Norman’s fingers gently stroking her side, Lea’s head on his shoulder, her hand on his belly, playing with the soft hairs there. She loved doing that. After a while he stirred.

“Clean-up time.”

He grabbed a handful of tissues from a box on the bedside table and pushed himself to sitting on the side of the bed. As he pulled off the condom and cleaned up Lea scooted closer and started stroking his back. He threw a look over his shoulders.

“Don’t go anywhere.”

As he got up Lea stretched and watched him disappear into the bathroom. She lay on her back, thinking of nothing, just enjoying the feeling of anticipation, the satisfaction of having given her guy pleasure.

When he came back into the room Norman went over to the stereo first. After a moment a strange, silvery sound started up. Lea cocked her head. She had never heard anything like it. It sounded like wind chimes and drums, but not quite.

Her eyes were on Norman as he slowly walked back toward the bed, skin shining in the candlelight. The sight, and the unusual music, caused an odd, floaty sensation in Lea’s stomach.

“What makes this music?”

“It’s called a Hang. I know the guy who recorded this. It’s magical, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

For a moment Lea mused what this instrument could possibly look like, but then she forgot all about it when Norman climbed onto the mattress from the foot end. His eyes in hers were like fire, and her heart began to beat faster.

“Spread your legs.”

His voice was a growl, no whispering or cuteness now. Pure lust flowed through the air between them, and Lea obeyed. As he crawled slowly toward her she caught a glimpse of his erection which was so hard again it nearly lay against his stomach.

Then his hands were on Lea’s knees, pushing her legs apart further. His eyes were still in hers, consuming her. A small, knowing smile was playing around his mouth and he licked his lips. There was a throbbing deep inside her, even before Norman’s head dipped out of sight and disappeared between her legs.

None of Lea’s previous lovers had been any good at this. She hadn’t minded them giving it a go, but if it wasn’t offered she hadn’t been very sorry, either.

All that changed now. Norman clearly knew what he was doing, and from the moment his tongue first caressed her clitoris Lea knew he would make her come within minutes.

His mouth on her was hot, but his tongue flicking and licking left cooling trails all over, and the contrast nearly drove her to distraction. Somehow that tongue seemed to be in more than one place at a time, and as it traced a languid trail all the way down, then up again Lea gave a shudder.

Hot breath on her mons, one, then two fingers inside her. Lea moaned, back arching, hands gripping the slats on the headboard.

 _He could’ve tied me up, same difference,_ Lea thought, and then all coherence stopped.

The warmth spread from his lips, and from inside her, down her legs, and up her arms, pulsing, rocking her, like electricity, like an ocean of energy.

Lea moaned, and her right hand came away from the headboard, came down, and her fingers buried themselves in Norman’s hair. He exhaled as Lea carded through the long, silky strands, and the hotness of his breath was what tipped her over onto the path of no return.

“Oh god… Norman…”

The fingers inside her crooked suddenly, and Lea cried out. Norman’s other arm wrapped around her thigh and hip, holding her steady as she bucked and trembled.

No thought, no breath, nothing but eerie music in her core, lights flickering on the ceiling as the tension broke like waves and she pulsed under his clever fingers, those lips, that devilish tongue of his.

Gradually the waves slowed down, blood and thought and air returned to her brain. Still breathing hard Lea glanced down and was not at all surprised to find his eyes regarding her.

“That,” Lea said, still catching her breath, “was incredible. Andy is right.”

Norman’s face betrayed his confusion. “Andy? How did he get into this?”

Lea giggled at his slightly outraged, jealous tone. “He said I should come down here more often.”

“Yeah?”

“Cuz he makes a mean cuppa.”

“I see…”

“Oh Norman,” she laughed, sat up and started pulling him onto the bed next to her by the upper arms. “Andy’s tea is great. But really, I’ll much rather _come_ for you.”

*

It was getting really late, and while they were both sleepy neither felt quite ready to let this day end just yet. Lea yawned and snuggled closer against Norman in the darkness. It was a warm night, and they had thrown the windows wide as soon as they were done with the noisier part of their entertainment.

“Not too many mosquitoes yet,” Norman had said. “And the cricket concert will put us right to sleep.”

They were still naked under the thin sheet. Lea loved how his warm body felt against her. She was resting her head on his chest, and their legs were intertwined comfortably. Every so often Norman would tickle her calf with his big toe, which made her laugh. His left hand was trailing idle, slow circles on her back, and her hand was back on the soft fuzz on his belly.

Certain he was about to drop off Lea startled a little when he spoke.

“You ever thought of getting a tattoo?”

Lea considered for a minute. “I have, actually.”

“What would you get?”

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“Why would I?”

“It’s girly…”

“So? Just tell me, c’mon.”

“Swallows. You know, birds. Three or four, like a small flock, from the distance.”

“Nice. Where?”

“On the ankle.”

“Ok.”

“Ok…what?”

“Let’s do it.”

Lea raised her head but could only see his dim outline in the darkness. “Let’s do what?”

“Get tattoos.”

“You mean, like, matching ones?”

“Sure.”

“But birds is a really girly motif.”

“You are a girl.”

“You’re not, though.”

“But you’re _my_ girl, so that works. Which ankle do you want?”

“Uh, left?”

“Ok, I’ll take right, then. We’ll go tomorrow.”

“Norman, are you sure?”

“Very. Are you?”

Lea only hesitated for a second. “Yeah…actually, yeah, I’m sure.”

“Ok, deal. We’ll get us some ink tomorrow. Let’s do this! I’m gonna pop your tattoo cherry, baby girl!”

He hugged her close and Lea laughed, kissing his chest somewhere around the place of the _Norman_ tattoo, feeling the happiest she had ever been with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what a Hang, or handpan, sounds like: [Hang music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUmNRW9dUGI&list=RDkUmNRW9dUGI#t=3)


	4. Chapter 4

“You a doctor in the ER, yes?”

Lea glanced up from her purse where she had been rooting for money to pay for her salad. The cafeteria cashier looked at her a little nervously. Lea nodded.

“That’s right.”

“I…” The young woman leaned toward Lea and said quietly, “It’s my friend. Her little boy, he coughs very much. But they are… I mean, they have no insurance for to see a doctor…”

Lea was now fully focused. The young woman’s accent sounded Eastern European, and Lea had a feeling she knew where this was going. She smiled reassuringly. This happened to all the doctors in the ER eventually. Illegal immigrants with no papers and no access to healthcare when it was needed would approach them, scared and desperate.

Sometimes Lea despaired over her new, adopted home. Back in the UK accessing emergency treatment was easy. No questions were asked, and it wasn’t hard to get a patient the help they needed, no matter their background or financial situation. Lea missed the NHS, and she knew that most of her colleagues shared the basic principles it still stood for. Healthcare was a human right, not the privilege of those who could afford it, or those who always did the right thing.

“Do you want to bring your friend and her son to me this afternoon, err…” Lea glanced at the nametag, “Suzanna? We don’t have to tell anyone about it, don’t worry.”

The young woman beamed. “Yes! I finish at three. We can come then?”

Lea nodded, and finally handed over the money for her lunch. “That works fine, yeah.”

“Thank you so much, doctor.”

“No problem. But call me Lea, all right?”

“Ok, Lea. I will see you later.”

*

When Lea finished her shift at 7pm and walked toward the subway Suzanna and the child were still on her mind. The woman had brought the two-year-old boy to her at three, as agreed, and Lea had taken them to a discreet room at the back of the ER. Dr. M knew what she was doing. There was an unspoken agreement at the hospital that as long as nobody abused their privileges the doctors could see a certain number of these sorts of patients off the record. Lea admired her employers for this policy, which by no means was risk free.

Suzanna had come alone with the boy. “His mama is at work. She has just found new employer, she can’t miss hours.”

Lea had checked the boy over carefully. He was very sweet and happy, but the thing that kept coming back to her now as she boarded the train was that there had been absolutely nothing wrong with the child.

“He don’t always cough,” Suzanna had said. “Sometimes he is fine. But when the cough comes, it is always very bad.”

“Well,” Lea had said, frowning, as she had stripped off her gloves. “I’m afraid you will have to bring him back when he is coughing. I can find nothing wrong with him right now. His lungs are clear, he has no fever and there’s no sign of an infection.”

Suzanna had nodded. “Ok, I will. I am sorry I waste your time, doctor.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lea had said, smiling. “His mum worries, that’s understandable.”

Thoughts of the puzzling case were pushed to the back of Lea’s mind when her phone rang just as she was exiting the subway station close to the penthouse. It was Norman. Happiness filling her heart now Lea took the call.

“Evening, darling.”

“Hey doc. You home yet?”

“Five minutes. You?”

“No work this afternoon. Steven and I went out with the bikes, it was awesome!”

“That’s good! More play, less stress, right? But you got a long day tomorrow, no?”

“Yeah…” He didn’t sound thrilled. “Gotta be there for 5am, long ass make-up first. Listen, can you tell Mingus to call me? His phone’s off, or on silent, or something. I wanna know how the PT went today.”

“Sure, I’ll tell him. Hey, by the way, I think he’ll be fine to come down to Georgia with me in a few weeks at the very latest.”

“That’s awesome! But you’re still coming this weekend, right?”

“Of course. Arriving late on Friday, but I can stay until Tuesday morning.”

“And then I’ll be up on the Saturday again already. I’m liking this new arrangement, baby girl!”

Lea smiled. “Me too, darling. You’re coming for that Fleet Week parade, right?”

“Yeah! So exciting, I’ll send you some pics of the bike later, it’s so cool!”

His enthusiasm was palpable, and Lea felt incredibly happy. “Looking forward to seeing them. Hey, stay on the line a few more minutes? I’m just about to go in, Mingus is probably already home.”

“Sure!”

They chatted lightly as Lea let herself into the building and went up in the lift. By the time she reached the penthouse she was giggling, and very glad about Norman’s good mood. She clamped the phone between shoulder and ear as she unlocked the door.

“Hang on, darling… Mingus? You home?”

“Upstairs,” came the faint reply.

Lea started climbing the internal stairs. “He’s here. I’ll hand you over in a sec.”

“Ok, babe. We’ll speak tomorrow, all right?”

“Definitely. Night, honey.”

“Night, baby girl.”

When Lea turned the corner into the living area she could see Mingus sitting on the sofa. She walked over, holding the phone out to him.

“Your dad wants to say hello.”

Mingus smiled and took the phone. “Hey, dad… Yeah, I’m good. Phone died, it’s charging downstairs. I was at the PT forever, used up all the battery… What? Yeah… Oh, good! Listen, they said I won’t need the crutches, or the brace, much longer. Yeah, week or so? So rad, can’t wait. When you come home they’ll be gone… What? Oh yeah, sure, I’ll go with you. As long as, y’know, they’re really gone. Gotta go now, dad. You want Lea again… Oh, ok. Bye, dad… Yeah, love you too. Bye!”

While Mingus was on the phone Lea had made two lattes, which she now carried over to the sofa.

“So therapy went well today?”

“Really well. I didn’t wear the brace all through it, and hardly needed the crutches. When dad’s here in a couple weeks I won't need them at all!”

“Excellent news. Here, you earned that. It’s decaf, or we won’t sleep. But we can pretend.” Lea handed Mingus one of the mugs and sat in the armchair. While they sipped their lattes Lea quietly observed the boy, who was half absorbed in his iPad, half trying to be polite and ignore it.

They had been incredibly lucky. The only, and fairly minor, damage Mingus had suffered from his head injury had been to the motor cortex. He was now working hard to regain the strength in his leg muscles, and retrain the brain to use undamaged areas for muscle and movement control.

The big, clunky brace on the left leg was a nuisance, Lea knew that very well. And so was the sneaking around, trying not to be spotted out and about with the brace and crutches. Helena, Paul and Lea had been driving the boy to and from school and therapy, and sometimes he took cabs. But Mingus came after his dad, and like all real New Yorkers he much preferred the subway, and walking.

Finally he caught Lea looking, but only grinned and pointed at the crutches. “Hey, take some pics of me? So we got some proof I had the stupid things, and that I got rid of them again.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, course! Take them on your phone, mine’s downstairs. But send them to me.” He picked up Lea’s phone that was still lying by his side and handed it to her across the coffee table.

“All right, then…”

Mingus got quite into it, doing silly poses all across the living room. He insisted they take a few selfies together as well, and laughed out loud when he flicked through the pictures afterwards. “Hah! Send them to me, all right?”

Lea obliged, but felt a little niggle of unease that she had given in to this. They had been so careful to keep the boy out of the reach of paparazzi while he healed. And to make matters worse Mingus had flipped off the camera a few times. What if someone saw these photos? But then Lea pushed the thought away. Nobody but his friends would ever get a glimpse.

“Hey, shall we order pizza? Celebrate your almost-crutches-free day?”

“Yeah!” Mingus grinned, and snatched the phone up again. “I’ll do it! Man, I’m so glad you moved in, you’re cool to hang with, y’know?”

Lea smiled as he dialed their usual pizza place from memory and ordered a large pizza with extra anchovies. She felt pleased at the boy’s pronouncement. There were still several mountains of research papers that wanted her attention that night, but they could wait until Mingus went to bed. It wasn’t every day that a 16-year-old wanted to hang out with you, after all.

*

It was only because Norman still had no alarm clock that Lea never turned her phone off when she went to bed. She always switched it to vibrate, but that was usually enough to rouse her when someone called. When the cell phone started dancing around on the hardwood floor next to the bed at 1am she was instantly awake. Squinting at the little screen Lea first dropped the phone on her face and gave a little yelp as it hit her nose. Rubbing her face, still none the wiser who was calling, she took the call.

“’lo?”

“Oh babe, I’m sorry I woke you up…”

“What is it, honey?”

“’s my head…”

Lea sat up. “Oh no. How bad is it?”

“I took the Lioresal, but I dunno if it was in time. Doesn’t hurt too bad, but I’m feeling real sick… I’m scared, doc. Can’t sleep, cuz my heart’s racing like mad…”

“Why are you scared, darling?”

“Work, they… I just can’t keep falling out. We’re on a really tight schedule, and…” He broke off.

“Norman, you still there?”

“Yeah…” His voice was tense. “Trying not to puke.”

“You need to sleep, darling.”

“I know, I know…” Norman sounded close to tears now. “Oh babe, I need you here…”

“Listen, honey, I’ll help you. We’ll do this together, ok?”

“Ok…”

“Can you still get down the stairs and work the kettle safely?”

“Think so…”

“Then go make some ginger tea, and if you can, eat a bit of bread. If your stomach’s got something besides the pills to concentrate on you’ll feel better.”

“All right…”

“Take the phone with you, we’ll keep talking.”

Lea plumped up her pillows and leaned against the headboard, settling comfortably so she could focus on Norman. She tried to distract him gently, soothe the anxiety and give him some courage over the phone. When he had had the tea and toast and was back in bed she could tell that the medication was finally starting to make him drowsy.

“Better, honey?”

“Yeah… thanks a million, babe.” He sounded close to sleep. “Love ya…”

“Love you too. Now, go to sleep, ok?”

“Ok. Night, baby girl.”

“Night, darling.”

They hung up. Lea scooted back under the covers, too, glad that he was finally asleep. The only problem was that now _she_ was wide awake and worried.

*

Lea’s next trip to Georgia was much more of a mixed bag than the weekend filled with fun and friends they had both enjoyed so much. She flew down on the Friday after work, and Norman was there to collect her when she landed in Atlanta at 7pm. They had dinner reservations, which he had sounded excited about on the phone. But when Lea saw Norman standing at Arrivals she could tell straight away that something wasn’t right. He hugged her tightly, and she thought he felt rather too warm, even for Georgia in early summer.

“My baby girl,” he whispered against her hair. “’m so glad you’re here…”

Lea noticed that people were starting to look at them, and she disentangled herself gently. She took his hand and smiled at him, hitching her small carry-on bag with the other arm. “Me too, darling. But let’s get out of here, or you’ll be signing autographs for the rest of the night.”

Norman’s eyes were hidden behind his Ray Bans, but Lea could sense him looking around nervously. “Better go, then. Don’t think I could, tonight…”

They quickly went out to the car park and got into the Jeep. Once behind the wheel Norman took his sunglasses off and rubbed his eyes.

“You ok, hun? You’re really pale.” Lea studied his face as he glanced around. His eyes were red and puffy, and he looked exhausted.

“My head’s ok, but it’s like I’m going through all the side effects in the book. This week I’ve been so fucking tired, I can hardly keep my eyes open. And work’s been tough, so many long days, and rolling on the ground all the fucking time…”

“Let’s swap over.”

“What?”

“I’ll drive. It’s an automatic, can’t be that hard. And you got the GPS.”

That he didn’t even try to argue told Lea all she needed to know. They got out again and walked around the front of the car. Then Norman set the GPS and leaned back in the passenger seat, closing his eyes. “I got the table for eight thirty. No need to rush. Just follow the GPS.”

“Honey, maybe we should just go home. I don’t mind.”

But Norman shook his head. “I’ll be fine. And it’s a cool restaurant, you’ll love it. Real little Italian place, owners are from Sicily. The guys and I go all the time.”

Lea wanted to tell him to at least take a nap, but didn’t dare. He seemed to be in a bit of a funny mood, frustrated, on edge. She didn’t want an argument when he was feeling shitty already and she had to concentrate on the unfamiliar car and roads.

In the end she didn’t need to tell him. Once Norman had helped her navigate safely onto the highway he curled up in his seat and fell asleep. If Lea had known where she was going she would have just driven them home. She half planned to reconfigure the GPS once they got to the restaurant in Peachtree, but when the car came to a stop on Main Street Norman woke with a start. Rubbing his eyes he looked around.

“Hey, babe, you got us here without crashing!”

“Haha. How’re you feeling?”

“Better. Just really needed that nap.”

Lea studied his face. He didn’t look any less pale, but his eyes were more alert. So she got out and locked the doors, then followed Norman reluctantly as he led the way into the restaurant.

Their table was perfect, secluded and quiet, and the restaurant was simply lovely. Lea would have enjoyed eating here on a normal night, but now she just couldn’t focus on food. Norman sat across from her, not making eye contact or saying much. When he ordered a beer he threw her a look as if challenging her to comment. Even though Lea thought this a terrible idea, adding alcohol to the mix of nausea and medication, she didn’t say anything. He could pick a fight with someone else, she wasn’t going to be baited that easily.

Voicing her opinion turned out to be unnecessary. When the starters arrived Norman pushed the bruschetta around his plate for a bit, took a few small sips of beer, then suddenly pushed his chair back and excused himself. He was striding toward the restrooms before Lea had half a chance to say anything.

It took a long time before Norman came back. Lea waited, tense and worried, and when he finally reappeared she got up from her chair. As he drew close she could see that his face was gray and sweaty, and he was beginning to shiver.

“We better go home, huh?”

He nodded. “Oh Lea…”

She picked up her bag and stepped to his side, giving him a quick hug and he briefly buried his head against her neck. When he let go and started for the door Lea noticed the glances of the other patrons. She caught a few sympathetic smiles, which she returned. Nobody approached them, and Lea was grateful for the discretion of this community. It seemed that the people here were used to the cast and crew in their midst, and they all looked concerned rather than curious.

“Go wait in the car, honey. I’ll pay the bill.”

Norman took the keys from her and made his way out into the street. Lea quickly settled the bill and went out after him. She climbed into the driver’s seat, noticing the key was in the ignition already. Norman kept his eyes lowered, staring at his knees. Lea reached over and put her hand on his neck. He gave a shaky sigh.

“Did you throw up back there, honey?”

He shook his head. “Sure felt like I was gonna, tho.”

Lea stroked his neck gently. He felt sweaty under her fingers. “You belong in bed.”

He nodded but said nothing. After a moment Lea started the engine and they drove down the road in silence.

*

Norman slept away most of the weekend. It worried Lea that he would be so tired, and she also worried about the bruises and scrapes on his back and arms, which she first saw when they were undressing as soon as they got in from their aborted dinner.

“That’s from work,” he said when Lea let her fingers glide over a large hematoma on his lower back. “It’s all physical stuff we’re doing at the moment.”

“Don’t you have a stuntman for that?”

“His bruises are worse. And it must be the pills, I never used to bruise like that. _Always_ those fucking meds…” He sighed. “But they work for my head, so I’ll keep taking them, don’t worry, doc.”

He crawled under the covers and Lea walked around the bed and joined him. Norman turned over and faced her with another bitter sigh. “It’s a killer, working when I feel like shit. I get so tired anyway. I hope this’ll go away soon.”

Lea had rarely seen him look so exhausted. She took his hands from where he had folded them under his chin and stroked his wrists gently.

“Let’s think about it this weekend. Maybe you need another dose adjustment, or a different brand of pills. Sometimes that helps, even if it should make no difference.” His eyes were starting to drift shut as Lea continued to caress his wrists and arms. “Go to sleep now, darling.”

“Hmm…”

His breathing became deep and regular, and Lea watched him for a while, loving him very much that moment. _How sweet he looks,_ she thought. _Wish I could make this damn migraine disappear. He doesn’t deserve this shit._

Saturday was lazy, but not unpleasant. Lea woke early and left Norman in their bed to sleep as long as he needed to. There was nothing they had to do today, and her priority would be for him to get the rest his body demanded. By the time he came ambling into the living room in nothing but his boxer shorts Lea was on her second coffee and halfway through an article in the latest _Lancet_.

“How’re you feeling?” Lea let the magazine drop into her lap.

“All stiff and sore. I hadn’t even noticed how much this week hurt.”

“C’mere.” Lea patted the sofa next to her, and Norman flopped down, then right away took the coffee mug out of her hand.

“Hey, make your own!”

“You insist I take those stupid pills, least you can do is let me drink your coffee.”

“Bully.”

He stuck his tongue out at her then finished the coffee in two large gulps. Lea pretended to grab for it, and they tussled for a moment, until they somehow ended up lying snuggled into each other on the sofa. Norman’s eyes in Lea's were full of love as he studied her face, his hand coming up to play with her short hair.

“I love you, baby girl,” he whispered. “Sorry we’re boring again.”

“Not boring, honey,” Lea replied, hugging him close to her. “This is nice. You know I’m not much of a people person. Just you and me is pretty perfect, actually.”

He hid his face against her body and when Lea stroked his back he hummed softly against her neck. At that moment Eye jumped onto the sofa and wedged himself between the two of them. Norman chuckled, and Lea half smiled, half frowned at the drowsy sound. “Go back to sleep, hun.”

Norman needed no encouragement. He fell asleep immediately, and so did Eye. Somehow Lea managed to pick up the _Lancet_ from where it had fallen on the floor and resumed reading.

Yes, Lea was worried about the Effexor's side effects, but she had to admit that the peace and quiet, and the knowledge that Norman was getting the rest he needed, were welcome. And at least this time he wasn’t sick or in pain.

*

They did exactly the same on Sunday. Rest, reading, food, and more rest. Lea worked a little when Norman nodded off, and it was all very peaceful. She tried not to show that she was still worried about his constant exhaustion.

But the weekend rest did Norman a world of good, and on Monday he was much fresher and looked properly awake for the first time in days. As he was getting ready for work he stopped in the kitchen and gave Lea a hug and a kiss. “You come over for 2pm with Stephen, and then we’ll all go riding, ok?”

Lea was due to have another motorbike lesson with Norman’s friend. The first one the weekend before hadn’t been too bad, and she was starting to feel a little more confident. Not quite confident enough for a solo ride with Norman and his friends, though.

“Only if I can ride bitch with you. I’m not ready to go on my own. There’s so many of you, you’ll make me nervous.”

Norman, his arms still around her, nodded but looked a little disappointed. Lea snuggled against him and rested her head on his chest. “Soon, honey, I promise. Wouldn’t be much fun if I lay down with the bike because I’m scared, right?”

“True,” he conceded and kissed the top of her head. “Baby girl, I’m so glad you’re here, but I gotta go, I’m late already.”

He kissed her hair a second time, hugging her tightly, then let go and grabbed his bag and helmet from the breakfast bar. Lea watched him rush down the hall and out of the door. At the last moment he turned back and gave a little wave.

She felt happy that he was so keen on her being here, but also a little disquieted. How long would it be until this long weekend arrangement was no longer enough and he wanted her to come down even more often? She was finding the traveling easier, now that she was doing it regularly, but there was no more give in her shift schedule. And as much as she loved Norman Lea didn’t want to give up her work, or her life in New York. She had come to America to be a trauma doctor in one of the most prestigious metropolitan hospitals, not to live in the country somewhere and play at house with her guy. Looking after him when he was ill was fine, but it couldn’t be her only occupation.

Lea cleared away the breakfast things, then got her bike gear ready. Stephen would take her on the backroads around Norman’s house today; they would ride for a bit, then they would return the Bonneville and Lea would ride with her instructor to meet Norman and his friends at the studio.

“Riding on the back with someone is a lesson, too,” Stephen had said the weekend before, and Lea was very happy to take that kind of lesson with Norman today.

But she was really getting used to the Bonneville. She understood Norman much better now when he rhapsodized about motorbikes, and that was of course part of the plan. Being interested in something Norman loved seemed an easy and pleasant way to make sure they would work out long term.

The lesson was a lot of fun. At the end of it Lea almost suggested she could ride her own bike on their outing that afternoon after all, but then she thought better of it. There would be all these guys who were so much more experienced than her, and she wanted Norman to enjoy himself, not worry about her. They had all the time in the world, and their first joint ride would come soon enough.

When they got to the studio Norman was waiting by his trailer. He looked a little tired again, but his eyes lit up as they came to a stop by the Triumph. He hurried over and helped Lea climb down from the back of Stephen’s bike. He lifted her off her feet and hugged her so tightly that she squeaked.

“Let’s do this!”

Lea laughed with him. It was so good to hear his excitement. He needed this, the both did. The fun, the happiness, the time spent together. And he deserved it.

Another three motorbikes now appeared from the car park. Norman waved at them, and soon they stopped by their side. Norman indicated two of the men, who had pushed up the visors on their helmets.

“Steven and Austin you’ve met. And this,” Norman pointed at the third man, “is Jeffrey.”

Lea shook the man’s offered hand. He was very handsome and had a nice smile.

“Jeffrey only joined us this season,” Norman said, then grinned excitedly. “We got a real bike club together now!”

“I had no idea you were planning a remake of _Sons of Anarchy_ , honey,” Lea said, returning his grin.

“Hey, how do you know about that show? You don’t watch TV.”

“Blame your son,” Lea laughed. “That Charlie Hunnam’s hot. Maybe Andy will introduce me. Charlie is British, too, so they’ve probably worked together at some point.”

Everyone laughed, and Norman looked at her with fondness. “My little comedian,” he said, leaning in for a kiss as the other guys wolf whistled.

Once all the introductions were through they set off. Lea climbed on the back of Norman’s bike and wrapped her arms around him. This whole bike thing already felt much more natural, really.

*

“You really gotta leave tomorrow?”

They were lying in bed, content and satiated after a great day that had culminated in a nice dinner with Norman’s friends, then some sweet, gentle lovemaking when they got home.

He was resting his head on her shoulder, his hand stroking her breasts, then her belly, through the sheets. Lea craned her neck to see Norman’s face and sighed. “Yes, darling, I do. I got a review meeting, and a late shift tomorrow. I can only do these long weekends if I stick to my schedule the rest of the time.”

“I know…,” he said morosely, then wrapped his arms around her tightly. “’s hard, tho. When you’re here I got something to come home to…”

“Aww, honey! You’re just feeling under the weather. You’ll see, once you start taking the new pills you’ll be back to normal quickly. They have the same active ingredient, but the time release will hopefully help your body deal with them better. Just stick to the new dosage.” They had picked up the new medication on their way home after Lea had spoken with Norman's neurologist that morning, explaining her guy's struggle with the side effects.

“I will. I gotta be awake for the Fleet Week thing next weekend. Mingus is real excited to come with me.”

The tone of wonder, as if he couldn’t believe his son actually wanted to spend time with him, made Lea frown. But she didn't comment. Instead she said, “I’m sorry I’ll miss it. But it was either do one shift that day, or work all of the weekend after that.”

Norman sighed again, nuzzling her neck. “’s ok. At least we’ll get to come home to you.”

He sounded close to sleep now and Lea kissed his hair. “Let’s call it a day, honey. We both got an early start tomorrow.”

“Too true. Love you, doc.”

“Love you too, darling. Sweet dreams.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

“Doctor!”

Lea looked up from the files she had just spread before her on the reception desk. The young woman with the long blond hair standing before her definitely looked familiar, but it took Lea a moment to place her.

“Hey… Suzanna. How is little…” Lea grasped for the boy’s name.

“Tony,” Suzanna said. “He is ok. Doctor, can… can I talk with you?”

“Sure. Shall we go to an examination room?”

“I…”

“Or the cafeteria?”

Suzanna fidgeted with her hands, looking uncomfortable. Lea noticed that she wasn’t wearing her work uniform.

“Can we go to the Starbucks?”

Lea regarded her with worry. What could have happened to make Suzanna so upset? “Of course. Let me get my bag.”

They went to the café located right next to the ER, and Lea bought their drinks. When she had carried them over to the table Suzanna had chosen the young woman launched into her story straight away. Lea listened, and the frown on her forehead deepened the more she heard.

When Suzanna had finished Lea leaned forward and looked at her searchingly. “Let me get this straight. Tony and his mum are being deported because her employer reported her as an illegal immigrant?”

“Yes! They don’t want to pay her for her work, so they report her. It happens all the time.” Suzanna wiped at her eyes. “I want to help. I have friend, he is lawyer. He give us good rate, but… I lose my job too, in the cafeteria…”

“Why? What happened?”

“They say cut for the budget. I can’t do anything with no money. I have to find new job…”

Lea considered. “I’m not sure I can help your friend, but… you have a work permit, right?”

Suzanna nodded. “Yes.”

“The nurses were talking today, they said the cleaning company we’re contracting at the ER is looking for staff. Would you consider cleaning, at least for a while until you find something better?”

“Oh, yes, of course! Thank you so much, doctor!” The young woman leaped up and leaned over the table impulsively, throwing her arms around Lea. Her hand brushed Lea’s latte and the paper cup fell over, spilling coffee all over the table, and into Lea’s lap.

“Oh no! I am so sorry!” Suzanna cried, drawing back.

Lea pushed herself away from the dripping table, then snatched up her bag and started rooting around for tissues. “Don’t worry, here, it’s fine…”

She managed to mop up most of the spillage from her front, then looked down in dismay. There was now a sizable, beige stain on both legs of her jeans. Since she had been doing paperwork all morning Lea hadn’t bothered to change into scrubs yet, but now that looked inevitable.

Holding the wad of soaking tissues she got up. “I’ll just go and wash my hands.”

When she got back to the table she leaned down and picked up her bag, which had spilled half its contents all over the floor. She gave Suzanna a smile.

“Listen, I gotta get back, but I’ll make enquiries right away about the jobs. Come by tomorrow and I’ll tell you what I found, ok?”

“Thank you, doctor. And sorry with your pants.”

“Never mind that. See you tomorrow.”

Leaving Suzanna still looking worried to her cup of tea Lea hurried out of the Starbucks and up the driveway to the ER.

Really, she thought, a coffee stain was a small price to pay for helping a fellow immigrant.

*

Lea first noticed that her phone was missing when she was on the subway to Norman’s house after a shift that overran by several hours. She hadn’t been penciled in to see any patients that day because of the mountain of patient notes that needed reviewing and that she never seemed to have time for now. But when she came back from her chat with Suzanna the ER had just received an emergency call. Several critical accident victims were on the way.

“Pile-up on the express way,” Kathy had called to Lea as soon as she spotted her, before rushing off at high speed.

So Lea had rushed into the changing room, thrown her bag into the locker and pulled on scrubs. She had not emerged for air once until all crash victims were taken care of around 8pm. All paperwork and the research review scheduled for the afternoon had been forgotten in the rush.

Exhausted and sore Lea was now digging through her bag, frowning. When had she last seen the phone? Had she made a call after touching down at LaGuardia that morning? She couldn’t remember, her brain was so tired. If the phone was still at Norman’s house in Georgia that would be annoying. She vaguely mused that she should probably get a pre-paid back-up, in case this happened again.

When Lea had let herself into the penthouse and climbed the stairs she was surprised to find Mingus standing by the kitchen counter, looking at her gravely.

“Dad said to call him right away when you get in.”

Lea looked at the boy, frowning. “I can’t. I don’t know where my phone got to…”

Mingus tapped the screen of his iPhone then held it out to her. “I know… here.” Lea looked at the screen. The phone was dialing a number she didn’t recognize. “Just so you know, I already told him it’s not your fault.”

“What isn’t…,” Lea began, but then the phone, still suspended between them, stopped ringing and she could hear Norman’s voice. Lea took it.

“Mingus? She back?”

“It’s Lea. Norman, what’s going on?”

“How did they get out? Did you send them to someone? Show them off at work?” His tone was tense, guarded, and Lea’s heart sped up. Something bad had happened, she could tell. But what?

“What got out? Norman…”

“The pictures.”

“Pictures?”

“Of Mingus. With his…his crutches.”

“Norman, please, can you…”

“And the numbers, they’re all over the fucking place too. Mingus, Helena, me. Andy, Sean, god knows who else…” His voice was starting to climb in volume. He sounded angry, frantic, confused. Lea stood frozen to the spot, unable to say anything. Her mind was racing, and a terrible suspicion was starting to form. Her phone… the pictures… and phone numbers… She lowered the phone slowly, the other hand coming up to cover her mouth.

“Oh no…”

Then Mingus stepped close and took the phone from Lea’s slack grip. “I’ll talk to him.” He gave her a small, reassuring smile. “It’s gonna be ok.”

Turning away slightly he raised the phone to his ear. “Dad, listen… what? No, listen. She doesn’t know anything. I _told_ you she didn’t. Let me explain what happened, then we’ll call you back. Ok? Yeah, all right… Bye.”

Mingus hung up and motioned at Lea. “C’mon, let’s sit down.”

Lea followed the boy as he slowly made his way over to the sofas on his crutches. She felt totally numb. They sat down, facing each other. Mingus’s eyes on her were intent, and Lea thought that he was noticing her every tiny reaction.

“Someone posted the photos you took of me on twitter a few hours ago.” Mingus said.

“But I didn’t…”

“I know you didn’t,” he soothed, and even in her current state Lea realized how grown-up he sounded. “I told dad that you would never do something like that, or even show the photos to anyone. You said your phone’s disappeared?”

“Yeah. It’s not in my bag. I thought maybe I left it in Georgia…”

“You didn’t.” Mingus’s eyes were boring into hers now. “Lea, someone stole your phone.”

“But who? When? Oh god, Mingus…” Lea clapped her hands to her face. “All the photos, and the phone numbers. Norman, and Sean, and Andy… and yours too.”

Mingus reached over and took her hand. “Don’t worry. We’ll get new numbers. We all got several, anyway. These things happen.”

“Oh Mingus, I’m so sorry! Those pictures…”

“Don’t worry, seriously! I asked you to take them, I told dad that, too. Let me call him now, and then you two can sort this out.”

Lea nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Whatever Mingus said, she felt awful about this, and Norman had every right to blame her. She was the adult, after all. She should have said no to Mingus, and she should’ve had her shit together and not fall for something like what had happened today. Lea watched as Mingus pressed the speed dial on his phone and listened to the ringing.

“Dad? Freak-out over, ok? Lea didn’t do this. Her phone got stolen, it’s not on her. And I told you so… I’ll pass you over now. Be nice, all right?”

He handed the phone over. “Here. He’s calmed down. I’ll be in my room.”

The boy got up and made his way toward the stairs. Lea lifted the phone to her ear. “Norman? I’m so sorry… I… I don’t know how this happened…”

“All right.” Lea could still hear the anger, and the tension, but at least he wasn’t shouting. “D’you know when your phone got stolen?”

“I…” A terrible suspicion had begun to form in her mind.

“Yes?” Norman demanded curtly.

“Maybe I do…” And Lea told him all about Suzanna. “I thought she was telling the truth. She seemed so distressed…”

Norman snorted, and Lea felt a stab of pain. “That was naïve of you.”

“I don’t know what to say, Norman… I’m so sorry! Why would someone do this? Who was she? Why would she steal my phone for pictures?”

Norman gave a sigh. “I suppose it’s my fault. I tried to keep this from you…the fans, some of them, they’ll stop at nothing…”

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end, and even through her confusion Lea’s mind registered alarm.

“You ok?”

“Yeah…today was a killer on set. And now this…”

“I’m sorry I added to your stress, hun.”

Lea heard him sigh. “Never mind. We’ll talk about this in more detail, soon. I gotta go to bed now, we have to be at the ass end of nowhere before sunrise tomorrow. Go buy a new phone and get Mingus to give you my private number, I cancelled the other one after I got 500 texts or so…ow…”

“Is it real bad? Take some Advil…”

“Don’t fuss. ‘s ok, just a crick in my neck. Speak soon, ok?”

“Yeah…night…”

The line went dead and Lea slowly lowered the phone. She still felt numb with shock. He had been so cold. And what was this about another, secret phone number? She felt almost stung that he had never even mentioned that before. _Good thing he didn’t, you silly cow,_ she thought.

Lea stared at the phone in her hand. This wasn’t over by a long stretch, she could tell.

Oh what had she done?

*

“I told you to be careful.”

Mel leaned back in her chair with crossed arms, her eyes on him half concerned, half triumphant. It was pleasant in the shade under the marquee of the catering area, with the sweet tea in front of them and nobody around just then. If only Norman didn’t feel so sore and miserable.

He looked at his colleague thoughtfully, heart heavy. He had hoped for reassurance when he had launched into retelling what had happened the other day. Melissa and he had been close for near on seven years now, and she knew him better than almost any other woman he considered a friend. He had been certain she would be able to help him resolve this latest relationship crisis, and tell him how he could sort things out with his doc. Now he wasn’t so sure he wanted to follow her advice.

“Lea says she didn’t do it. Her phone got stolen, by one of those crazy, evil fans.”

“Are you sure she’s telling the truth?”

Norman rubbed his neck. The muscles here and in his right shoulder felt so sore. This was an old issue that flared up every so often, when he was particularly stressed or overworked, but he hadn’t had a problem with it in a long time. His brain also felt fuzzy, and he had noticed his mind wandering between takes all day. Greg had asked him a couple of times if he was sure he didn’t need a nap, in the testy tone the director got when tension ran high. And it was true, Norman felt like he was almost sleepwalking.

It was those stupid meds again, he was sure of it. With some effort Norman focused back on Melissa. She was looking at him with real concern now. “Norman, are you all right?”

“Course,” he said automatically. “And she’s not lying.”

But _was_ he sure, though? It made no sense, it would be totally out of character, for Lea to betray him like this. Heck, she hardly used the internet, she knew nothing about his fans, and how crazy things had gotten.

Or maybe she did. How did he even know? They hardly saw each other, and they had really only been together a few months. And hadn’t the trouble started like this with the last one, too?

But he couldn’t think like that. It wasn’t Lea’s fault that that girl had been such a disaster. This was different, this was the real thing. Norman rubbed his neck again.

“You should tell Greg you gotta go home,” Mel said, jolting him out of his thoughts again. “You’re not yourself today.”

Norman shook his head. “I’m fine. And Lea would never hurt me, or Mingus. She’s been nothing but great with him. And with me… she’s looked after me better than anyone ever has.”

Mel’s lips were a thin line. “But she doesn’t know what your life’s like, does she? Not really… she has no idea what we do down here, and how these people… Have you actually _shown_ her any of those messages you get? The photos? The… the threats?” She paused for a moment, her voice faltering. “Have you told her that we got a police escort with us when we go on location this year?”

Her eyes were boring into him now, and he couldn’t bear it. Norman glanced at his fingers in his lap, tied into tight knots once again. “She doesn’t use the net for anything but work. She’ll never see…”

“Norman, she _needs_ to know. Don’t you see? Do you remember what happened to the last one? Or has all of that conveniently leaked out of your brain, now that you got your perfect doctor?”

That stung. Norman closed his eyes. He hadn’t forgotten, but he could see why Mel was getting cross. He had been an idiot, so many times over. With that girl. And with Lea. Mel was right, his doc had to know. But if he showed her exactly what he was facing every day, how some of these people hounded him and the others, how they couldn’t go anywhere without cell phones pointing at them every second of their waking lives, she might decide that he wasn’t worth the trouble, after all. He’d only gotten her back, and he didn’t want to lose her again. He couldn’t bear the thought.

But there was no other way. Mel leaned forward now and when she spoke her voice was gentle again. “Norman, your life isn’t what it used to be, whether you like it or not. I don’t know if you’ll be able to be with just a normal woman, as nice and supportive and smart as she might be. Will she be able to understand any of this? It’s insanity, Norman, and you know it. And do you want her to have to give up her anonymity and join you in this mad-house?”

“I love her, Mel,” he whispered. It was the truth. Norman still felt unsettled by what had happened with Lea’s phone, but he knew his heart. “And she’s stronger than she seems. And she’s smart, and resilient. She can deal with this shit. She’ll learn to, she’ll do it for me.”

Mel made a disbelieving noise but didn’t speak again. Norman looked up. He didn’t need her to say what was plainly written on her face.

Love was never enough, not for this. And even the strongest minds would buckle under the strain, eventually.


	6. Chapter 6

“What do I do now?”

Lea and Merritt were sitting on Lea’s balcony in the last rays from the evening sun. Merritt had been the first person who had called Lea on the night her phone got stolen.

“I had to dig around a bit, call in a few favors before someone would give me Mingus’s phone number,” Merritt had told Lea when Mingus had brought his phone to her just as she had finally been dropping off to sleep. “Greg took pity on me in the end.”

“How did you know about this?”

“The grapevine is super-fast in this business, honey. I heard about the photos getting onto twitter a few hours after it happened.”

“And you assumed I had something to do with it right away?” Lea had asked, feeling stung.

“No, darling. I assumed something bad had happened to you,” Merritt had said mildly.

“I’m sorry,” Lea had said after an embarrassed pause.

“That’s all right,” Merritt had replied with dignity. “So, what do we do next?”

They had agreed to meet at Lea’s apartment when Merritt was back in the city two nights later. Lea had left Norman’s house the morning after the phone incident, telling Mingus he would have to stay with his mom for a few days, and gone back to her own place. She hadn’t spent a single night there since she and Norman had agreed that Lea would move into the penthouse. Good thing she had been so busy, or she would’ve given notice to her landlord by now.

“Have you and Norman talked at all since that night?” Merritt asked now.

Lea shook her head. “Not for more than a minute. He’s run off his feet even more than usual right now. He doesn’t get in until late, and then he’s exhausted… or maybe that’s just an excuse because he doesn’t want to talk to me. Oh Merritt, I don’t know what is happening!”

The other woman looked at her searchingly. “You really think he’s avoiding you?”

“Maybe.” Lea felt a huge lump in her throat at the admission. “I don’t think he trusts me at all right now.”

“But he must know _you_ didn’t do this? At the most you were a bit too trusting to a stranger.”

“He’s really strange,” Lea said sadly. “Like, on edge, twitchy. And he’s always so tired, and achy, and he doesn’t deal well with it. The side effects from his drugs are still bothering him a lot. But…”

“But what?” Merritt prompted gently.

“He should still know I didn’t do this on purpose. I’ve never given him any cause for suspicion before. It’s like, the way he talks about this, it’s not like him at all.”

“You mean, someone else has told him what they think, and he’s made that his opinion, too?”

Lea nodded.

“And that someone told him you’re not to be trusted?”

Lea gave a non-committal shrug. “Maybe. I don’t know…”

“Who would do something like that, though?” Merritt mused.

Lea said nothing. She had a suspicion, but she wasn’t going to share this particular thought with her friend. Merritt knew these people, she had worked with them for many months and was probably friends with most of them. If Lea started mouthing off about Norman’s and her colleagues now then Norman would have a real reason to be suspicious. And anyway, there was no proof that Melissa didn’t like Lea. It was just a hunch, based on the woman’s behavior at Greg’s barbeque.

“Have you talked to Andy?” Merritt asked, jolting Lea from her thoughts.

“First person I called once I got the new phone yesterday. Mingus sent me everyone’s new numbers, and told me to make sure to use a passcode this time.” She sighed. “And no, Andy had nothing useful to say, either. He and Norman haven’t been filming together for a couple of weeks now. Turns out Andy is in the UK right now. Merritt, I know next to nothing about Norman’s day-to-day life. He’s kept it all from me, even before this happened. He never trusted me, not really…”

“Don’t say that,” Merritt said, leaning across the small rickety table and patting Lea’s arm. “It’s like that down there all the time. All top secret. He wouldn’t confide in anyone outside the people he works with. Ask Mingus, he’ll tell you the same.”

Lea sighed. “Well, Norman’s told me one thing loud and clear. I’m not to report the phone as stolen. I’m not to make a fuss. ‘We’ll pretend nothing happened, we don’t wanna make waves.’ That’s what he actually said.”

Merritt’s eyes were full of sympathy. “You guys need to have a proper face-to-face talk. He’s coming home this weekend, isn’t he?”

“Yeah… but he’s got about a million interviews scheduled, then that parade thing on Sunday. I don’t even know exactly what it’s all for, he’s clamped up completely.”

“Lea, honey,” Merritt said, her voice now urgent. “You gotta pin him down, and soon. He’s gotta tell you about the crazy fan stuff, you _need_ to know. You got a right to know about those things, and it’s not safe, leaving you in the dark.”

Lea nodded, feeling glum. “I really don’t wanna know, but you’re right. I have to. What was it like for you, last year?”

Merritt considered for a moment. “My profile’s not that high, nobody ever tried to follow me home. But I saw the crowds, outside the studio, and outside the Gin. That’s one of the neighborhoods where we filmed a lot. It’s really central, and as time went on the crowds just grew and grew.”

“But what do they want? Autographs?”

“And pictures with the actors, yeah. And some want to see what’s going on during filming. Norman hates that, that people want to spoil the show.”

“Does he?” Lea felt stung that Merritt knew this when she didn’t. “He’s never said…”

“Oh darling,” Merritt’s eyes on her were kind for a moment, but then they grew hard as steel. “Looks like there’s a lot he hasn’t told you. And now it’s high time that he starts talking.”

*

As Lea had expected, Norman might have as well not been in the city at all, for all the time they actually spent in one room on the first couple of days. He didn’t get in until after midnight on the Friday, and he snuck into the darkened bedroom so quietly Lea knew he was trying not to wake her. She attempted to kid herself into believing that he was trying to be considerate, but she knew that wasn’t it. He just didn’t want to talk. Lea lay awake for many hours after he had crawled into bed next to her and fallen asleep almost instantly.

He was already up and having breakfast, standing up in the kitchen, half dressed, when Lea got up. She was amazed by how quiet he had been again that he didn’t wake her when he rose. She was certain now that he was avoiding her.

But he greeted her with a smile and a kiss when she came into the kitchen. “Real sorry, doc, I gotta run. Long ass day again, don’t wait up. We’ll have time tomorrow night, after that madness is over. And we got all of Memorial Day, we’ll talk then for sure.”

And with that he set off. Lea chided herself as she watched him hurry over to the staircase and out of sight. He wasn’t running from her, the reasonable part of her brain insisted. He was just busy.

At least he had looked chipper, and well rested. Maybe he was finally getting used to the meds, and hopefully he would soon be himself again.

Since he hadn’t told her much about his plans in the last week or so Lea hadn’t realized he would be busy all day Saturday, and hadn’t had time to change her shifts. Pushing away the uncomfortable implications of Norman’s lack of sharing his plans Lea decided to see if Mingus wanted to spend some time with her that day.

It turned out that the boy was all for it. “Let’s go out and walk around. I need to practice for going with dad tomorrow.” Mingus had managed what he had so fervently hoped and gotten rid of the crutches and knee brace in time for the Fleet Week event. “I’ll just hang back and be invisible. Much easier without all the scaffolding.”

So he and Lea walked the neighborhood, had coffee and ice cream, then went grocery shopping for a dinner of risotto and asparagus. Yes, Norman had said he would be home late, but at least there would be leftovers of something real to eat if he felt peckish when he finally showed up.

It was after midnight when Norman finally returned. They heard the front door open and close, but Norman didn’t appear. Lea, sitting next to Mingus on the sofa and only half paying attention to the DVD the boy had selected, cocked her head. After a few minutes she heard the shower in the en-suite right below them stutter to life.

Lea gave it another ten minutes, then said goodnight to Mingus and made her way downstairs. Norman was just pulling on a fresh pair of boxer shorts when she entered the bedroom.

“You had a good day?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, crawling onto the bed on all fours. “Another killer tho…”

“We left you some dinner,” Lea said, ashamed to be playing this game, but she had a hunch that something wasn’t quite right. She studied his face carefully, and he fed her hunch immediately. At the mention of food his face contorted to a grimace and he gave a small shudder.

“I ate,” was all he said, and Lea knew he was lying. Her heart beat faster with worry. He shouldn’t be at risk of a migraine, not on the dose of Effexor he was taking. And he should be feeling better, not worse again, now that the side effects seemed to be tapering off too.

But she held back her comment. She had a feeling he wouldn’t take too kindly to any criticism from her right now.

Norman squinted up at her, and Lea bit her lip. She knew that pinched look.

“You coming to bed?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Early shift tomorrow.”

“Not much of a weekend, huh?” He rubbed his eyes and winced. “Mingus ok?”

“Yeah,” Lea said, glad for the change of topic. “He’s really excited about tomorrow. We went out for a walk, and he’s doing so well. Nobody will even know anything was the matter with him.”

As soon as it was out she realized what she had said. Norman’s eyes grew dark, and they were boring into hers like daggers. “They _do_ know, tho…” But then he closed his eyes and shook his head a little, his left hand unconsciously rubbing his temple. “I’m sorry doc, I… let’s just go to sleep, ok?”

“Sure,” Lea said meekly and started to pull off her pants. She finished changing into her nighttime tee in silence and went into the bathroom.

When she came back five minutes later Norman was fast asleep. Lea turned the lights off and quietly slipped under the covers next to him.

*

The next morning Lea was the first one up in the penthouse. Norman mumbled indistinctly when she quietly slipped out from under the sheets, then turned over and hid his face in the pillows. Lea wanted to touch him, feel his temperature, because the niggling conviction that something wasn’t quite right was still strong. But she desisted. He wouldn’t like her fussing, especially today. And she was most likely wrong anyway. The Effexor would keep him safe.

When Lea was getting ready to leave, after a quick breakfast of bran and yogurt, everything was still quiet on the downstairs floor. Since Norman hadn’t shared his itinerary for the weekend Lea didn’t know when he would be expected to show up at the Fleet Week event, but it was probably not before mid-day. A proper night’s sleep was hopefully the fix for whatever Lea had perceived to be wrong the night before.

She had little opportunity to worry about Norman, or anything else, during her shift that day. Apparently Fleet Week, which had meant a busy week at the ER already, culminated with a full-on binge fest on the last day. _This is insane,_ Lea thought as she sutured what felt like the hundredth scalp laceration before noon, _are they going to reinstate Prohibition tomorrow?_

It was well after six in the evening when she arrived back at the penthouse, with achy feet, still smelling the disinfectant and other people’s bodily fluids on herself, and just wanting a hot shower and a drink. She had forgotten all about her gut feeling regarding Norman’s head. When she opened the front door to the penthouse she could hear the TV from upstairs and climbed up to the living area.

Mingus was sitting on the sofa by himself, looking both worried and bored.

“Where’s your dad?” Lea asked, already guessing the answer.

Mingus’s expression provided the response before he spoke. “Downstairs. He went to bed soon as we came back. Told me to stay away…”

“Oh no! Mingus, I’m sorry.” Lea dropped her handbag, but hesitated before she turned away. “Are you ok? Legs worked fine today?”

“Yeah, it was real good. I was gonna have some friends come here, but now…”

“Honey, I’m sorry!”

“’s ok. I’ll ask mom to come pick me up. Unless you want me to stay?”

Lea hesitated. This was tricky. On the one hand she didn’t want Mingus to be burdened with his dad’s care. Too much of that had already been going on. On the other hand she didn’t want to send the boy away. He might feel unwanted, and that was in nobody’s best interest, either. “Up to you, hun. I don’t mind if you stay. Might need your help later, you never know.”

Mingus looked at her hopefully. “You mean it? I don’t wanna be in the way.”

“You definitely won’t be,” Lea said firmly. “Hey, make some ginger tea? That works a real charm for your dad.”

“Sure!”

Mingus came bustling over into the kitchen, and Lea climbed down the stairs again. _Why not,_ she thought. _He’ll be worse off if he fusses at Helena’s house. At least here he can feel useful._

Norman wasn’t in bed, but Lea hadn’t expected him to be. She carried right on to the en-suite, the half-open door the only source of light into the darkened room. Carefully, she pushed the door wider.

The scene that met her made her heart heavy. Norman was lying curled up on the floor, face hidden in the crook of his arm. He was breathing hard, and Lea didn’t like the wheezing on each exhalation.

“Oh honey!” The words came out automatically. Norman twitched at the sound and Lea sighed. As she crossed over to his side he started to push himself to sitting with difficulty.

Lea wet a washcloth, then crouched down by his side. “How long has this been coming?”

“All day,” Norman said hoarsely, proving Lea’s intuition right once and for all. He swallowed rapidly a few times, fighting down the urge to heave.

Lea scooted closer to put her arms around him, but then hesitated. He was making no move toward her. Usually he was keen for the comfort of her embrace when he felt this. She knew she should keep quiet, but Lea felt that she had to get to the bottom of this.

“The Effexor should’ve prevented it from ever getting this bad…”

“Stopped taking it, few days ago,” Norman said, trying to get onto his knees, and failing. Lea knew what was coming. _For fuck’s sake,_ she thought, and put her arms around him to keep him steady.

“Why, though? You know what ha…”

“Will you give it a break?!” He was nearly shouting, or trying to. “D’you know what that shit makes me feel like? I…”

But then he had to stop, pressing one hand against his temple. He leaned over the toilet with a groan, retching painfully. A large amount of sick hit the water and the stench of alcohol was suddenly overpowering.

Lea rolled her eyes. For once she just couldn’t keep quiet. “So you stopped your pills all at once, and then you went to get drunk. Real smart, Norman!”

He heaved again and pulled away from her at the same time. Lea let him. She was furious. When he could breathe again he turned around and regarded her with streaming, bloodshot eyes, wiping his mouth with the back of one hand.

“Smart, yeah. It was, actually. I have to _function_ , Lea! I can’t be off my head on some fucking chemical shit all the time. I got too much going on…”

“Norman, this is Effexor withdrawal, not a mi…”

“Oh shut up, you got no idea! It’s a migraine, all right,” he yelled. His left hand whipped up suddenly to his temple and he started banging the heel of it hard against the side of his head again and again. “It’s always my fucking head because that fucking truck minced my fucking face!”

“Norman, stop it!”

Lea grabbed his wrist and held on. For a moment it seemed like he was going to fight her, and Lea was almost scared. He was properly mad now, the rage made worse by the sudden chemical imbalance in his brain. But then all the fight went out of him. She could see it on his fever-flushed face, which went from angry to terribly sad in a heartbeat. Then he sat down heavily on the floor, hanging his head. His shoulders began to shake as he started to cry quietly.

For a moment Lea hesitated, but she couldn’t stay mad, not when he was so miserable. She scooted close again and took him into her arms. Norman slumped against her, but reluctantly. He had no strength left, but he would still rather she went away, Lea was sure of it.

“Oh Norman, what’s happening to us?” she said quietly.

He turned in her arms and hid his face against her shoulder, and Lea lifted a hand and carded her fingers through his sweaty hair. That was as much of an apology as they could muster right now.

She still felt angry at his stupidity. If he really had a migraine coming, together with the withdrawal symptoms they would be in for a hell of a time.

“Oh why did you have to throw in the booze too?” Lea half mused to herself.

Norman tensed, but then gave a sigh and wrapped his arms around her middle. He just didn’t have any strength to fight.

“Sponsors today were Sailor Jerry,” he said against her shoulder. “They make rum.”

“And you had to drink it?”

He pulled away and there was almost a sneer on his ashen, tear-streaked face. “Yeah, actually, I did. You know nothing…”

“And whose fault is that, huh?” Lea had had it, she felt the anger well up again. If he really wanted a fight now, fine. She’d been sweet for long enough. She was done with this idiocy.

For a moment she thought he was going to yell back, but then he only turned paler and hung his head. His left hand came to press onto his stomach hard, and he doubled up with a groan.

“Lea…no…’m sorry…”

With a sigh Lea helped him straighten up when he started to gag and held him as he leaned over the toilet again. This fight wasn’t over, but it would have to wait. Self-inflicted or not, he really was ill and needed help.

As always it was a long time for Norman to have it together enough before Lea could get him off the bathroom floor. They didn’t exchange a single word, but he let her help him back to his feet when it looked like he was done throwing up for the moment. His eyes wouldn’t meet hers, but his clammy fingers gripped her arm once he was upright.

“I won’t let you fall, honey. It’s ok, I’m here,” Lea said when he whimpered and leaned on her hard, dizzy and scared. Even as mad as he had made her she couldn’t be angry with him now. It wasn’t in her nature. He needed her care now, not her scorn for being stupid.

“Ok to move?” she asked gently and Norman nodded. Lea could tell he was glad she was there for him, and not giving him a hard time, even if he couldn’t show it right now.

They got into the bedroom and Lea sat Norman down on the side of the bed. He had toed off his shoes when he had come in here earlier, but the bed was still unmade and he was wearing a t-shirt and some kind of biker vest she didn’t recognize. Both were soaked with sweat now, and he was starting to shiver. His hand was back on his stomach, too, and he was leaning forwards, whimpering quietly.

“Your stomach hurting?”

“Yeah…”

“Mingus made ginger tea, but it’s probably cold now. I’ll make some more in a bit, and a hot water bottle. But first, trousers off. And that sweaty shirt.” Lea helped him stand again and undid his pants button for him, then slid the jeans down over his hip and helped him back down. Pants taken care of she got him a fresh t-shirt from the drawer. By the time he was changed and crawling under the covers his teeth were chattering and he was shaking.

Lea pulled the blankets around him and sat by Norman’s side. He kept his eyes closed but curled up so that he was facing her. Lea resisted stroking his hair, but after a moment took his clammy hand which he had balled into a tight fist, and gently smoothed his fingers in her palm. He clutched at her, hands shaking.

“Was…stupid…,” he forced out between clenched teeth.

“Bit, yeah… never mind for now, let’s make you feel better. There’s no Lioresal in the house. I could write you a script and have it delivered from the pharmacy at Langone…”

“Got some… in m’bag…”

“Oh good. So we don’t need to wait hours for them to get their ass in gear. I’ll get the tea in a minute. But Norman…”

He finally looked up at her then. “Y’want me to go back on that shitty drug, right?”

Lea nodded. “You have to take something, else you’ll keep falling out. And otherwise you’ll feel shitty for days with the withdrawal. Will you take the Effexor again?”

There was a pause, and Lea held her breath. He might start arguing again, she had no idea what else to do to convince him. But then he just sighed. “Yeah… it sucks, but the migraine, and this, is worse…”

Lea placed her hand against his face and his eyes fluttered shut again. “I’ll do some reading, all right? Maybe I can find something else. In the meantime, let’s get some chemicals into you.”

She got up and went over to where his bag was sitting on a chair. It was even darker in that corner of the bedroom, the light from the bathroom hardly reached here. Lea went through the side pockets of the bag one by one, feeling blindly for the familiar shape of the little pill bottle. Instead her hand gripped something velvety and square. Curious, Lea pulled it out.

It was a small, black box, covered in some kind of fabric. Confused Lea held it closer to her eyes. This was a ring case she suddenly realized. An odd feeling in her stomach she popped it open. Inside was a beautiful, diamond-studded ring. Even to Lea, who knew or cared little about jewelry, it was clear that this was an engagement ring, and a very expensive one, too. She couldn’t tell whether it was platinum or white gold, but the numerous diamonds shimmered and twinkled in the ray of bathroom light.

For a moment she stood rooted to the spot, heart hammering wildly. Her ears were ringing, the bottom seemed to have dropped out of her world. Then there came a rustle of sheets from the bed, and a low moan.

“Oh no…nonono…,” Norman whispered desperately.

Lea closed the little case with shaking fingers and dropped it back into the bag. Then she hurried to Norman who, weak and disoriented, had gotten tangled in the covers and was in danger of falling out of bed.

“Slowly, hun. Lemme help… c’mere, I got you.”

He was getting frantic now, one hand pressed to his mouth, the other alternating between his middle and trying to push the sheets aside.

Finally he was back on his feet and Lea, functioning on autopilot, supported him into the bathroom. He pulled away when they got through the door and made for the sink, which was nearest and the right choice, seeing how he barely go there in time.

As he heaved violently Lea stepped to his side and put a hand between his shoulder blades. She could feel his muscles tense as each new wave of gagging hit. It was soon obvious that he was nearing the end of his strength, his arms barely able to hold him upright against the white porcelain. And the vomiting wouldn’t stop.

When his knees threatened to buckle Lea put her arms around him. He leaned on her with a whimper.

“Shh, honey. I got you, it’ll be over in a minute.”

She was still flying on autopilot, his misery just barely penetrating the shocked numbness that filled her up. An engagement ring. Why now? They were more rocky than ever. And they had barely been  together six months. She didn’t even think he liked her very much any more.

But there was another, much bigger issue. Just like Lea had never wanted children she didn’t have the slightest intention of ever getting married. Something inside her screamed and raged at the very thought, even as Norman clung to her, shaking. Despite all that had happened this week, despite the mess he so frequently made of their lives, Lea loved her guy with all her heart. This was all she had ever wanted, this feeling of being with the person she loved more than anything in the world.

 _It’s crazy,_ Lea thought, just when Norman finally straightened up and leaned his full weight on her with a sob, _I’m probably the only woman in this world who doesn’t want to marry him._


	7. Chapter 7

Norman had to talk to someone. He couldn’t figure this one out on his own. He didn’t want to, it was too difficult, too much was riding on it. The pros and cons had to be clear, he had to hear what they sounded like, to his own ears, and to someone else’s, too.

This had never happened before. In the past, when it had been over it had been _over_. He would end it, tell them straight, shut it down. His friends told him he was running away from responsibilities, from promises, and they were right. He would hide away his feelings, block their phone numbers, ignore the pleas. Ignore his own heart. Or so he had thought, that there had been feelings. Maybe he didn’t know what feelings were, not really.

Oh, the last one had snuck back under his defenses a few times. But he had been weak then. Distracted. Needy and overwhelmed.

Ok, so he was all these things now, too. But it was different this time. Before, he had just known when the end was there. He would wake up one day, wondering what he was doing. He would fall  out of love, lose interest. This time, the love was still there. It was strong, painfully so. There were definitely feelings, this time. But the fear, which seemed to be growing at the same rate as his love for Lea, made it so fucking hard to think.

He couldn’t talk to Andy about it. Andy loved Lea, and he would definitely tell Norman he was insane for even thinking about ending it. And most likely that was true, but Andy was too close to them both to give Norman the objectivity he needed. He had already talked to Mel, and that had just made it worse. Norman didn’t really understand what had happened after that talk with Mel, but he knew it hadn’t been good. Steven would probably tell him the same as Andy, and tell him to marry Lea before she changed her mind. And Jeffrey didn’t know her at all.

There was only one person Norman really wanted to talk to, and that was Jon. He wanted to have that talk in person, and for once fate was on his side. On Wednesday, just when he was getting ready to get into the cab that would take him to LaGuardia for his mid-morning Atlanta flight, a text arrived from Jon.

_Am in Atl, reshoots for Baby Driver. Can I come and borrow that book sometime this week?_

Norman texted back with a time and day – _Tmrw night, 8pm? x_ – and changed the sheets as soon as he got home to the Georgia house. Lea wasn’t coming until Saturday now, and had to go back on Monday already. She had had to rearrange her shifts again to look after him during his latest bout of migraine, made so much worse during that first night by the Effexor withdrawal.

Lea had been wonderful, as always. He had been cruel and irritable, and she hadn’t risen to the bait. She had told him straight, but not in a mean way. She had kept him safe. And she had held him when he had needed her to. When the ginger tea and the rescue meds came back up again twice, when the withdrawal made him shiver and shake until all his muscle ached so much he cried with the pain. When the fever made him more and more paranoid, and his head was pure, blinding agony.

And that whole first night he had wanted nothing so much as her to leave him alone. He couldn’t think, couldn’t decide whether he still trusted her. Could he have her around? Wouldn’t she really betray him, in the end? Not like the last one, not on purpose. But Mel was probably right, Lea didn’t understand this life. _Then explain it to her,_ his brain had kept insisting, _she’s ten times as smart as you, she’ll get it._ But he had drowned out that reasonable voice. It was easier to cling to the fear. And yet, he had also clung to Lea, harder and harder, incapable of letting go.

He needed help. He couldn’t work it out on his own.

Jon arrived bang on at 8pm. Norman buzzed him through the gate, then opened the door.

“Hey baby,” Jon said, leaning in and kissing Norman on the lips. “Long time no see. Something smells great. You actually cooked?”

“Yeah, sure did. Asparagus risotto.”

“Wow, a treat! Your girl’s training you well.”

Norman’s heart felt dark all of a sudden. He couldn’t look at Jon, just gave a little, non-committal jerk of the head.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

Norman waved his friend inside. “C’mon through. I’ll tell you in a minute.”

They went into the kitchen, where Norman had set the table for two. Jon made for the fridge while Norman turned the hob off.

“Want a Miller’s?”

“No,” Norman said regretfully. “Can’t drink. Fucks me up real bad, with the meds. I’m just about upright and walking again. Gimme a coke?”

Jon frowned at him as Norman picked up the pan with the risotto and carried it over to the table. He brought a beer for himself and set down the soda before Norman’s plate. Norman piled risotto on both their plates.

“What happened, baby? You don’t look all that hot. I thought you got real good pills now.”

“They work great for my head, but the side effects are killing me. Lea is looking for something better, but…”

Jon picked up his fork as Norman sat down across from him but didn’t start eating. “Something happened with you and Lea, hasn’t it? I heard some shit about pics of your boy getting out. Did she have something to do with that?”

Norman hesitated. That was the question, wasn’t it? “I don’t think so,” he said slowly.

“I can hear the _But_ loud and clear, baby. Spill it, Uncle Jonny will make it right.”

That made Norman grin a little. But as he thought about all the things he would have to say aloud, and think about, made the grin vanish quickly.

“She didn’t leak the pics, no. She’s not a liar, her phone got stolen by a crazy fan. Or someone paid by crazy fans, dunno. Told her to just let it be.”

Jon had started to eat while Norman talked, and was chewing thoughtfully. “It’s time you guys down here stopped taking this lying down. That crazy bitch who bit you, the stalkers, the fans crawling all over the fucking place. They won’t stop on their own, and someone will get fucked up for real.”

“They’re just excited. Y’know they don’t mean no harm…”

“Don’t they, Norm? Those guys that broke into your house were just excited, eh? Baby, they traumatized you. They nearly landed you in the looney bin.” His look was so intent it almost hurt. “They’re dangerous, man. To you. To your girl.”

“Maybe Mel’s right…” Norman began, then broke off as Jon snorted. “What?”

“You talked to Mel, did you?”

“Yes, of course. So?”

“Lemme guess… she said you should break it off with your doc, that an outsider would never understand your life down here. Am I close?”

“How did you…?”

“Baby, I’ve known Mel as long as you have. She’s a doll, I love her a lot. But she’s jealous, don’t you see? She doesn’t like to share you. She doesn’t like strangers to get close. She never went near Ce…”

“You can’t blame her for that,” Norman interrupted. He didn’t think he could stand hearing that name just now.

Jon considered. “No, you’re right. But baby, Lea isn’t like that. You said it yourself. She’s smart, and she’s strong. She can do this. And she doesn’t care who you are, or how much money you got, or what you can do for her. She’s got her life in hand. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but she’s good for you. Maybe the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

A sudden, deep sadness threatened to overwhelm Norman. He felt incredibly exhausted, nauseous and ready to cry all at once. Putting his fork down he leaned back in his chair.

“Baby, you ok?” Jon’s voice was worried, but Norman couldn’t look up.

“I thought she might, y’know,” he said quietly. “Thought she’d be the real deal. But what if…”

“What if what?” Jon demanded. Norman only shook his head. He couldn’t tell his friend.

He didn’t have to. Jon took a deep breath and continued, “What if she won’t take it? Tell you to fuck off once she realizes what a basket case you really are?”

Norman knew Jon didn’t believe that, was just echoing his own thoughts. His friend had no idea how right he was, really. “Yeah…”

“Baby, look at me.” Jon pushed his own plate aside and leaned across the table. Norman obliged.

Jon’s eyes in his were both full of love and the most serious he had ever seen his friend. “Norm, this _is_ the real thing. Your doc’s the best thing you could possibly ask for. You two belong together. I can see how lost you are without her. Talk to her, for real, soon as you can. Show her you trust her, show her you care. Don’t let her slip away again. No third or fourth chances, baby.”

*

After dinner they went through into the living room and were soon cuddled up on the sofa, the TV turned to a wildlife documentary channel. When Norman stretched out and pulled Jon with him, Jon gave a chuckle, then tucked some strands of hair behind Norman’s ear, giving him a quizzical look.

“Something funny?” Norman asked innocently.

“You talked to your doc about us?”

“I did, actually.”

“Really?”

“Uhu…”

“And she’s ok with this?”

“Told you she would be.”

There was a pause, in which Jon fought hard not to look too impressed. “Baby, she’s definitely a keeper.”

Norman sighed and let his hand glide under Jon’s shirt, enjoying how his friend’s toned stomach muscles felt against his fingers. “I know, man. I’ll talk to her soon as she gets here Saturday.”

He started to slowly undo the buttons on Jon’s shirt, and Jon wriggled his knee between Norman’s legs. Norman spread them willingly, placing one foot on the floor as Jon’s knee started to press into his growing erection through the denim.

“Want me to fuck you right here, baby?”

Norman was transfixed by Jon’s velvety brown eyes that were now sparkling with lust. He could feel his erection straining at its confines. He nodded. “Jonny…”

“You got any…”

“Bottom drawer, by the TV.”

Norman gave a low moan as Jon’s knee vanished from between his legs. He quickly fumbled his pants button open and pushed jeans and boxer shorts down over his hips, wriggled out of them and dropped them onto the floor, just as Jon was coming back with condoms and slick. He watched as Jon’s hands wandered onto his own crotch, rubbing himself through the fabric.

“God, baby…been way too long.”

“Ya…”

But then Jon stopped with his hands on his pants buttons. “You sure you ok doing this? You look peaky, Norm. There’s a lot going on right now…”

“Please, Jonny…”

Norman nearly cringed at the neediness in his own voice. But Jon’s eyes were gentle, and full of love. “Ok, baby…”

Jon quickly dispatched with his own clothes, then knelt down between Norman’s legs again. He pushed his hands up and under Norman’s t-shirt, caressed his belly, his sides, but didn’t suggest Norman take it off. Norman felt strangely exposed, lying there only half naked.

“C’mere…”

Jon’s hands on Norman’s hips, guiding. Norman scooted down, tilted his pelvis, made access easier. Jon’s eyes never left his. Gentle hands spread his legs wider, then Jon prepared himself. One slick finger slid down and between Norman’s buttocks, the back of the hand brushing his balls for a second. Norman shuddered.

He relaxed around the finger as Jon braced himself on the sofa next to his head. The finger vanished and was instantly replaced by the tip of Jon’s erection. Norman sighed.

He closed his eyes and gave a low moan as Jon entered him. His heart was suddenly beating furiously fast, and his head was swimming. This didn’t feel right. His body wasn’t right. He felt woozy and faint, even lying down.

But he needed this, wanted this, badly. He bore down, sighed restlessly. “C’mon man, please…”

Then Jon’s hand was on his shoulder. Norman opened his eyes.

“You’re not ok, Norm, are you?”

“m fine. Please, Jonny, please…”

“All right,” Jon said, but didn’t look very happy. He pushed in slowly and Norman shuddered, arched his back. He was close now, so close.

“Touch yourself, baby…” Jon’s voice was a low growl, and Norman shuddered again. He obliged, his hand closing around his shaft, joined there a second later by Jon’s. Norman reached out blindly with the other, his fingers coming to rest on Jon’s chest. The room was spinning, but Jon was the one thing still steady, holding him in place. He could feel the pressure mounting with every thrust, every brush of Jon’s cock against his prostate. Close, sososo close.

And then he came, hot and fast over both their hands, pulsing, vibrating, deep inside.

“Oh, baby…”

And with a groan Jon joined him on the peak, ceased movement, let himself slump down. Norman felt his friend’s hot breath against his cheek, heard the rapid breaths against his ear as Jon sank on top of him, but holding himself up so as not to crush Norman.

Jon was worried about him, Norman could tell. Not allowing himself to ride the bliss for long Jon pulled free, then grabbed a box of tissues from the coffee table. He first wiped the cum off Norman’s belly gently, then put some tissues into Norman’s sticky right hand before taking care of himself.

Norman clutched the tissues but didn’t move. He watched Jon cleaning up, his mind far away. When Jon was done he looked up at Norman still lying there motionless and sighed. He took the tissues from Norman and wiped his fingers for him, then dropped all the scrunched-up tissue paper onto the coffee table.

“Make room, baby,” Jon said finally, and stretched out by Norman’s side. He pulled Norman close and stroked his back lightly. Norman clung to him, grateful for the tenderness.

“You’re not so good, baby, are you?”

“’s ok…”

Jon sighed, then kissed his temple gently. Norman hummed quietly. It was nice to have Jon here. Jon was good to have near when he felt shitty.

“Shall we go to bed?”

“You staying?”

“Sure.”

“All right then.”

Jon hugged him tightly for a moment, then disentangled himself, got up and pulled his pants on. Norman sat up and rooted around on the floor for his boxer shorts. When he had found them he put his feet through the leg holes and pulled them up as he stood.

Suddenly the room gave a sickening lurch and he staggered. Jon, already half turning toward the stairs took a quick step to his side, caught him and held on. Norman leaned into him, shaking.

“Heyheyhey, what is it?”

“Dizzy…fucking meds…”

“Oh baby. C’mere, sit down…”

“No, ‘s ok. Let’s go upstairs.”

“Ok. Slowly now, I got ya.”

Jon’s arm firmly around him Norman let his friend lead him up the stairs and to bed.

 _Why,_ he thought dully, _can’t life just be nice for five minutes?_

*

The house was quiet when Lea let herself in just after 11am on Saturday morning. She found Eye sunning himself in the living room window and went over to him.

“Hey, lil man, you missed your daddy, huh? I miss him too. And you…”

The cat let her scratch him between the ears, closing his eyes and purring.

Lea looked around the empty, sunlit room and sighed. She hadn’t been keen to come to Georgia, even though it was true what she had just said to the cat. She missed Norman. But it was a longing that just being in the same space couldn’t cure any more.

She hadn’t heard from him at all after he had left on a flight booked last minute on Wednesday, until he sent a text on Friday morning, asking if she was still coming the next day. When Lea had replied that she was indeed planning to come – even though she had been tempted to send him a _No_ instead – his reply had come instantly: _Good! Baby girl, we gotta talk. Just you n me Sat night @ home, k?_

And now she couldn’t stop thinking about that text. What did he want to talk about? Did he want to end it? She didn’t think so. That wasn’t his style, to drag her all the way out here for that. He was never cruel. He might do the chicken thing and end it over the phone, or when he was next in the city. But he wouldn’t do it here, where she had nowhere to escape to and they would be stuck with each other at least until he got her on a plane back to New York.

Maybe he finally wanted to talk about the fans, and his life here, and all the things that she didn’t know but really had to, just to be with him, and be safe. Lea really hoped that that was it.

They hadn’t talked about anything while he had been laid up this week. The time they had spent together while Norman recovered from the migraine attack had been strange. He hadn’t left the bedroom once on Memorial Day, and Lea had been with him almost constantly.

He had been very unwell, the first night especially, and Lea hadn’t had the heart to berate him, or ask him about anything that might stress him out. They had been oddly quiet around each other, and strangely gentle. Norman had clung to her hard, wanting her near at all times. She had felt the fight in him, though, had known a part of him had wanted her to leave him alone. In the end that part had lost, and he wouldn’t let go of her for hours on end.

Late at night on the Sunday, curled in her arms in the dark bedroom, shaking with pain and the effort not to be sick again, he had spoken for the first time in hours.

“’m sorry. Please… don’ mean nothin’…”

“Shhh,” Lea had soothed him, stroking his aching, burning head. “Shhh, darling, it’s ok.”

He hadn’t said much of anything after that, Lea remembered. But if he was ready to talk now then that would be great news.

What if the fans, and his Georgia life, weren’t the only things he wanted to talk about, though?

Lea hadn’t forgotten about the engagement ring. It kept creeping into her head, and every time it did she had the sudden urge to do something, distract herself, get away from the thoughts.

But what could she do here? Norman wouldn’t be home for hours. She could make dinner, maybe. But that wouldn’t be enough to fill the day.

Maybe she could drive into Senoia. Get some ingredients for dinner, have a coffee. She hadn’t seen much of the little town that Norman talked about with so much enthusiasm.

The Jeep hadn’t been in the driveway when she had arrived. Could she ride the Bonneville? Would she dare? Yes, Lea decided, she would dare. Norman wanted her to be more adventurous, he would be thrilled if she challenged herself to this. She had the provisional Class MP license, after all. Stephen, her instructor, had made sure she got that sorted almost before they did her first lesson.

So Lea got her kit together - despite the heat dressing in the protective leather pants and jacket Norman had insisted on buying – and set off before she had a chance to change her mind. And to her surprise riding on her own wasn’t hard. She had always been a quick learner, and Stephen and Norman were both good, patient teachers.

As she drove down the winding, country roads toward Senoia all alone with her thoughts and the scenery Lea understood for the first time Norman’s pure, unadulterated joy of motorcycle riding. It was simply exhilarating.

She was almost disappointed for the short ride to end when she arrived on Senoia’s Main Street. She briefly considered to just keep going, but then reminded herself that, as much fun as this was, riding alone into parts of the county she didn’t know at all would not be safe, or enjoyable.

After an hour of sitting in the sun on the sidewalk outside a café – amusingly called _The Waking Dead Café_ – Lea thought it was time to tackle the shopping. The Bonneville had a good-size side bag, and she wouldn’t need much. She had decided to make a vegetable gratin and salad, for which almost everything was at the house already, thanks to Norman’s local produce delivery services. But there were no potatoes, and she also wanted to make a tiramisu for dessert, which would have the added bonus of keeping her busy most of the afternoon.

She spotted a delicatessen across the road from the café and went in there to pick up some specialty cheese, thick cream and a nice bottle of rose wine. Then she went back to the bike and stowed her purchases in the side bag.

Suddenly Lea straightened up. Somebody was watching her, she could feel it. Looking up and down the street she couldn’t see anyone even glancing in her direction. Everyone in the vicinity was minding their own business.

Shaking her head at herself Lea secured her helmet. She fumbled with the straps as usual, and only remembered at the last moment to push the shield down.

Norman hadn’t been very happy that she didn’t like wearing a full face helmet. But they made her feel claustrophobic and nervous. She couldn’t hear through them, or see much either. In the end Norman had agreed that if the helmet became a distraction it was a hazard rather than added protection. So he had bought her the best, and most expensive, three-quarter helmet he had been able to find.

Lea drove out of Senoia city center and into the car park of the big Publix a couple of miles down the road. When she parked the bike she had the same eerie feeling that someone was watching her, just as before.

Had a car been following her out of Senoia? Lea hadn’t noticed anything, but she hadn’t really paid attention, either. Heart beating slightly too fast she walked into the store.

In the produce aisle the feeling of being watched came back. This time, when Lea whipped around, she thought she saw someone slide out of sight behind a tall shelf just before she had fully turned around.

Who would be following her into a supermarket? What did they want? Spy on what she was buying and taking back to Norman’s house? Would someone really care if she bought low-fat yogurt instead of the regular kind? Would – her stomach felt strange at the thought – the brand of canned black beans she chose make it onto a gossip blog by evening?

Lea put the small honey melon she had been examining back down. Her hands were shaking, all she wanted now was to get away.

But what if the stalkers followed her home? Norman didn’t need this again, not now. Lea didn’t know the area well enough to lead them on a goose chase. As she hurried toward the exit Lea pulled out her phone.

Norman would know what she should do for the best. He might make fun of her for being jumpy – or maybe not. Maybe he would finally realize that she kept walking into these situations because he wouldn’t tell her the truth.

The phone rang for what felt like an eternity, and then went to voicemail _. Of course it had to, silly cow_ , Lea chided herself. He was on set, his phone was off. And so was Andy’s, the only other person Lea could think of to ring at this moment. She tried his number anyway, with predictable result.

Real panic was closing in. Lea had wasted precious minutes with the phone calls; surely her pursuers were lying in wait, ready to jump into their car as soon as she started to drive away. She glanced around, but there was nobody near.

Lea was out of ideas. All she could do now was drive home, hide indoors and tell Norman what had happened as soon as possible. It took her forever to fasten her helmet this time, and three tries to start the bike.

As she drove out of the parking lot Lea tried to stay calm and focused. She retraced the way she had driven into town earlier, telling herself all would be fine.

But bad thoughts kept intruding. What would Norman do if there really were people following her? Did fans know yet where the new house was? Would she blow his cover? Last time, things had gotten out of hand to the point of him selling his home and moving. Surely he wouldn’t feel he had to do that again, just because she had made this stupid mistake? The new house was much more secure, there would be no need for something so drastic, would there?

The wind stung in her eyes and Lea suddenly realized that she hadn’t closed the shield on her helmet. She didn’t like letting go of the left handlebar while driving, but she had to, she could hardly see now for her watery eyes. As she raised her hand her eyes fell on the rear view mirror. Was that a car following behind? She couldn’t tell. Automatically, Lea turned her head to check.

Even as she did so she knew it was a terrible mistake. The bike swerved under her, slowing a little but still going too fast for her to control. She whipped her head around to look ahead, but it was too late.

There was a wall of green coming toward her; she knew it was the green belt covering the roadside ditch. Lea lifted her arm to shield her face. Then she was falling.

There was a loud crash, a screech, then pain in her leg, her shoulder, her head.

Then nothing.


	8. Chapter 8

“Where is she?”

“Sir?”

“Lea… Lea Winters. She was in an accident…they brought her here. _Where is she?_ ” The blood was rushing in Norman’s ears and he gripped the counter hard.

“Norman…,” Andy said behind him.

“Sir, are you a relative?”

“I…what?”

“I can’t release patient information to anyone except close family.”

Norman felt Andy’s hand on his arm as the other man stepped up to the reception desk at the ER. Andy gave him a warning look, then turned to the woman behind the desk. “Yes, he’s a relative. Lea is his wife.”

If he hadn’t been out of his mind with fear and worry, Norman dimly realized, he would have been impressed with Andy’s quick thinking. As it was he just gaped silently, first at Andy then at the receptionist, who was now tapping away at her keyboard.

“Your wife is in surgery, sir. Fifth floor.”

“Thank you,” Andy said, and pulled Norman along to the bank of elevators at the back of the reception area. He kept hold of Norman’s elbow as they rode up to the fifth floor, and Norman was grateful for the physical contact. His brain felt slow and dazed; everything was coming at him through a woolen blanket. When the doors pinged open Andy pushed Norman gently through the doors, and they walked down the hallway together.

Andy had been the one to find Norman over lunch to break the news. “Office just had a call from Atlanta Medical Center. Lea had an accident with the bike. C’mon, Greg’s getting his car. He’ll drive us both.”

What it meant that their director-slash-producer had not only allowed the show’s two biggest names to disappear halfway through a shooting day – and a day that had been specially scheduled so they could catch up on the scenes Norman had missed due to his latest migraine attack – had only penetrated Norman’s dazed brain as they were speeding along the highway toward Atlanta. Halting the entire production must mean Lea was in a very bad way.

This thought had been the beginning of the icy, painful numbness that was now coursing through him, twisting his insides into painful knots. With every minute Norman felt closer to losing his mind.

“How did they know to call the studio?” Andy had asked Greg in the car.

“Driver who found her recognized her,” Greg had said, eyes on Norman in the rear view mirror. “Local woman, knew Lea was your girl. Said she’d seen the two of you at that little Italian place you guys like to go.”

 _Your girl…_ Those two words kept swirling through Norman’s scrambled mind, repeated over and over, making his stomach churn. His girl. None of this would have happened if he had done right by her and not forced her to learn to ride that stupid bike. She wasn’t ready, he had known it, deep inside. His selfishness, his idiocy were what had gotten his baby girl killed. For his mind insisted she was dead, and nothing anyone said would convince his crazy brain otherwise.

Why had she gone out alone? She was still scared to even take lessons. He had known from the get-go that this wasn’t really her thing. Why couldn’t he have been happy for her to just ride bitch with him? That was nice, to have her cuddled up against his back.

Had she done this to impress him? Was she so unsure of his love that she had felt she had to prove something to him? _And how the fuck is that a surprise, eh,_ an acrid voice in Norman’s mind insisted.

After that talk with Jon he had realized just how much she meant to him. He had planned on telling her that very night. _Too late,_ the voice said in his head. _You’ve done it again. Blown your chance, you fucker. And this time someone’s actually dead._

Norman stopped walking. Andy kept going for a few paces, until he realized Norman was no longer by his side. He turned around just in time to reach out and grab Norman by the shoulders when Norman’s legs turned to rubber and would no longer carry him.

“Woah, mate!”

Arms around him Andy led Norman to a nearby bench, and Norman collapsed onto it. Everything was blurry through a curtain of tears and he buried his face in his hands. He was starting to tremble; he felt extremely sick.

“I killed her,” Norman said tonelessly. His throat felt tight as he forced out the words, and for a moment he was certain he would be sick all over his shoes.

“No you didn’t. _She isn’t dead._ ” Andy sat down next to him and leaned close. His friend’s voice was quiet but intense. Norman couldn’t look at him. “Listen to me, man. This isn’t your fault. Lea will be fine. But you have to pull yourself together now. She needs you, don’t fuck it up.”

Norman forced himself to raise his eyes and look at Andy. His friend’s eyes were full of love and sympathy, but there was a steely edge to his gaze, too. Norman nodded slowly.

“I won’t fuck it up. Not this time. But please, god, let her be ok.”

*

The first time Lea woke up there were lights. Right in front… no, above… and they made her feel dizzy.

There were noises, too, but those were far, far away.

Then someone she didn’t know leaned over her, upside down, and Lea thought it was strange how that person was all blurry around the edges and covered in a red mist. That made her feel dizzy, too, and she tried to move her head and look away.

A pain, like nothing she had ever felt, shot through her left shoulder, and her neck on that side. She wanted to scream, but couldn’t make a sound. The pain came again and made more lights erupt.

Then blackness.

*

The next time she woke up Lea could see that she was somewhere else. There was just one light above her, and it was huge and bright and yellow, and it hurt her eyes. She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Baby girl!”

There were quick, heavy footsteps, then chair legs scraping on the floor. Someone bumped against the bed. That made Lea ache all over and she groaned again, then forced her eyes open and tried to move her head.

Norman’s face took a long time to come into focus. Lea had to blink repeatedly before what she saw started to look like his face. His eyes, when she could finally see them properly, were huge and frightened. His face was very white.

“Norman…”

Damn, but it hurt to talk. Lea coughed weakly, then winced when her shoulder gave an angry twinge.

“Here, give her some ice chips.”

A hand with a pink plastic cup appeared in Lea’s field of vision, and she was about to turn her head to see who had spoken. But then Norman took the cup, and Lea’s eyes focused back on him. Her brain seemed one step behind the action at all times, and just trying to follow what was going on made her feel exhausted.

“W’happened,” she croaked as Norman held out a sliver of ice on a plastic spoon.

“Here, babe. Take that first.”

Lea opened her mouth and Norman put the ice on her tongue. It soon soothed her throat. _What a wonderful thing, ice chips,_ she thought, distractedly.

“So what…,” she tried again.

“You crashed the Bonneville.”

As Norman said it everything started to come back. The fear, the pain, the rushing fall, the crunching noises and all the confusion. Lea’s hands bunched into the sheets, but the left one felt oddly stiff, and it hurt. She glanced down, but couldn’t really see it, couldn’t make out much more than the top of the bandages halfway up her arm.

“Ouch,” she said, and scrunched her eyes closed as waves of pain stabbed their way up and down her left side.

And then Norman was there, very close on her right side. His face was next to hers, his left hand took her right and his right arm came across her middle, gently, mindful of her injuries.

“Oh, baby girl, I’m so sorry! You’re in so much pain…”

“The bike…”

“Fuck the bike! What do I care about some fucking bike? Babe, you could’ve died! I’m such a fuck-up, I should’ve never forced you to ride…”

“Norman…”

“No, babe, not this time. You don’t get to make excuses for me again. I fucked this up, and I’ll make it right…”

Lea tried to free her right hand from his, touch his face, calm him down. He was getting frantic now, and his arm around her tightened. It hurt, and she wanted to wriggle away but couldn’t. He was too caught up in his fear, unaware of her discomfort, and Lea bit her lip to try and keep from whimpering.

“Norman, let her breathe!”

Andy! Thank god! He would calm Norman down. He now came into view and put a hand on Norman’s back. Norman’s eyes, which had become a little wild, came back into focus, and he relaxed his grip.

“Sorry, babe, sorry... What were you saying?”

Lea took a deep breath, and winced. Broken ribs, for sure. “It’s not the bikes. I like to ride, I do. I’m really getting into it. I’ll not give it up, even after this. But… Norman, there were people following me. That’s why I crashed. I was so scared they’d follow me to the house, I didn’t pay attention properly…”

“People? You mean…”

“Fans, yeah…stalkers. I didn’t really see anyone, but… I felt them. In town, in the supermarket. I tried to call you, but your phone was off… I’m sorry…”

Norman’s expression was one of fear. He was still holding her hand and she could feel him starting to tremble.

“It’s all my fault. I should’ve told you everything much sooner. Then this wouldn’t have happened.”

Andy pulled a chair close, too, and sat down by Norman’s side. He looked first at Lea then at Norman, until Norman turned around. Andy’s hand came to rest on Lea’s and Norman’s intertwined fingers on the bed.

“You guys have a lot to talk about. It’s high time you tell Lea everything, man. But you both need a break first.”

“I’m not leaving.” Norman sounded determined, even though Lea could still feel him tremble.

Andy squeezed both their hands. “Course not. We’ll sort something out. It’ll all be ok, you got each other now, and you’re talking again. That’s the main thing.”

*

Lea slept while Andy and Norman sorted out Norman’s stay with her at the hospital. She didn’t know what strings they pulled, and what tall tales they told, since by rights neither of them should have been told anything about her condition, or let into her room. But Lea was too busy feeling achy and sore to care, and was grateful to have both men by her side.

When she woke again a doctor was standing by her bed. He introduced himself as the surgeon who had operated on her. Lea hadn’t even realized there had been an operation, and her heart sank further as Dr. Miller brought her up to speed on her injuries.

“Your hip will be the biggest problem. Lea, you suffered an intertrochanteric fracture, and I used an intramedullary nail to repair it. You’re young and healthy, so hopefully you won’t have any complications. You should be able to get up tomorrow, the therapist will be here first thing. But you know how long these things take to heal.”

Lea sighed. “It’ll be months. Doctor, I fell hard on that same hip earlier this year. Could there have been a hairline fracture that made this break more likely?”

“It’s possible. Hard to say, after the fact. But at least you didn’t need a new hip. Still, you’ll find going back to the ER job with 12-hour shifts on your feet a challenge. But let’s worry about that later.”

“What else?” Norman asked. Sitting by Lea’s side he had followed the doctor’s explanation with a slightly dazed expression so far. She squeezed his hand, not at all sure he needed to hear all the grisly details. He was looking pale again, but she knew he wouldn’t be deterred.

“Dislocated left shoulder. We repaired that, but you’ll have some trouble using crutches for a while.”

“That’s just great...”

“A few broken ribs. Some concussion. You’re lucky you didn’t damage your eye.”

Lea knew that she had been incredibly lucky indeed. With the helmet shield still up she could’ve easily lost her left eye when she crashed into the bushes down in the ditch. As it was she merely looked like someone had given her a good beating. There was a large, sutured wound over her left eyebrow, and her entire face was blue and purple on that side.

 “How long will she have to stay?” Norman was all business. He seemed to need to get this out of the way. Lea didn’t like the tense set of his face and the barely suppressed panic in his voice.

The doctor considered. “Four or five days, if someone is at home to help once she’s released. Lea will need a lot of help, for a long time.”

“Course there’s someone there to help. She’s gonna stay with me.” He sounded unusually determined now, and Lea smiled at him with surprised gratitude when he looked at her. “We’ll make this work.”

How it could work in reality Lea had no idea. Norman had so many commitments, and a punishing work schedule. But in this mood he wouldn’t be reasoned with. And anyway, he probably could make it work, even if they would have to rely on some hired help. That he was so adamant gave Lea a lot of comfort. For once she accepted that she needed someone else to look out for her.

When the doctor left, Lea dozed off again. The doc had prescribed a higher dose of pain meds and administered them right away, ignoring her protest. Secretly, Lea was grateful. Her hip was starting to hurt, now that she knew what was wrong with it exactly, and being pulled under by the morphine was a nice feeling.

Lea knew Norman never left her side. Every time she surfaced he was there, attune to her slightest stirring. A few times she had come around to other voices, and commotion by her bedside, and she dimly wondered if Andy and Greg were there too.

It was late, and getting dark, when Lea woke up properly again. Now the room was quiet, there was only Norman by the bed, looking at her with his eyes full of love. He looked scared still, but calmer. Lea gave him a dopey smile.

“Hey babe. How’s things? Anything hurting?”

“Nah, ‘s good stuff they gave me…”

He smiled back at her and leaned closer, resting his head on the bed next to her. Lea reached out and stroked his hair.

“You should go home and rest, honey. Nothing exciting happening here today.”

“Nah, I’m staying. They got some rooms for relatives next door. I booked one. Andy’s bringing me some stuff in the morning.”

“You not gonna go to that room, though, are you?”

“Nope.”

Lea sighed. He wouldn’t be persuaded for now. Really, he should rest, but if he wasn’t going to she might as well talk to him about what was going through her head now that the drugged haze was beginning to clear.

“How is this all going to work, hun? You can’t look after a cripple, you haven’t got the time.”

He sat up straight again. “You’re not a cripple. You’ll heal fine. And while you do I’ll look after you. I can get us both ready in the morning, and make sure you got everything you need before I go to work. And I’ll hire a nurse, if we need one. And a full-time housekeeper. A driver. I don’t care, whatever you need, you’ll get it. I just want you to be well again. And I want you with me, more than ever!”

Lea’s heart was beating rather fast. “I didn’t think you wanted me around at all, actually. I thought that’s what you were going to tell me tonight…”

His eyes were full of sadness and guilt. “No, babe. True, I wasn’t sure for a while, but I am, now. I was gonna tell you about the fans, finally, and what it’s like living down here. Jonny told me I had to, or I’d lose you… I didn’t think this is what he meant, but oh god, it was too late, almost…”

Norman took a deep, shuddering breath. Lea raised her right hand, tried to touch his face but couldn’t quite reach.

“Hun, don’t…”

With an effort Norman focused on her. He was struggling to stay calm now. “Babe, you need to rest.”

He was right, of course. They both needed rest. But they wouldn’t get it, not until this was finally cleared up. “I will, in a minute. But first, tell me everything. No more secrets, no more excuses.”

Norman nodded almost to himself. “All right, if you want… you don’t know much about social media, do you?”

Lea shook her head. “I have an old Facebook account, but I haven’t looked at that in years.”

“Yeah, you better delete that.”

“Why?”

“They’ll dig it up, your account, I know they will. I’ll show you, when you’re better. I’ll show you everything. The messages I get. They never stop, the chatter is constant. Twitter, Instagram, tumblr… And the pictures. Nudes, a lot. Some of it’s funny, some…not so much. Proposals, requests. And threats…”

“What kinds of threats?”

He hesitated. “Not now, babe. It’s scary shit, I can’t think about it right now. But babe, some of it has to do with you. A lot of people are hateful toward anyone linked to me. And a new girl, well… The last one, she reveled in it. She positively invited the bullshit, and baited those stalkers. That’s partly why I didn’t wanna tell you.”

“But I’d never do that. I don’t go online.”

“I know. But I didn’t want you to start looking. Stupid way to try and keep you safe, I get that now.”

“I won’t go looking, hun. Some jealous women online, why do I care?”

“It keeps spilling over. This,” he glanced up and down Lea’s prone body, “is what happens when it gets weird. It gets weird a lot, down here. There are fans everywhere. You don’t know, because I never pointed them out. We haven’t really been anywhere yet, I kept you away from it all.”

“Well, don’t do that. It doesn’t work.”

“No, it doesn’t. Shit…” Norman rubbed his face. “We’ll make sure you know how to stay safe, online and offline. Email addresses, phones, numbers. Who to call when. How to access security, how to get hold of me… I’ll set something up at the studio, we got some people can explain it much better than me…”

“There’s more, isn’t there?” He was entirely too nervous and tense, the way he was talking so fast, getting into the detail like that. “Tell me what’s frightened you. We’re in it together now, remember?”

“I’m so scared, babe. That shit at the house last year, what if it happens again? I’m shitting myself when I just think about it. You’re there now, and Ming’s gonna come down again soon.”

Lea saw the stress mounting. His shoulders were hunched tight, he was chewing his bottom lip nervously, mouth moving as if he was mumbling to himself even when no sounds came out. She held on to his hand more tightly but kept quiet. Better let him get there on his own.

When Norman spoke again his voice was toneless. He was trying to keep a distance to what he was saying, reeling it off quickly. This incident seemed to have frightened him nearly as much as the break-in.

“There were people around the old house constantly. Watching from down the road. Sitting in their cars. They thought I’m too dumb to notice, but I saw them. Same cars, over and over. And I’m feeling like shit most of the time. Head’s killing me, I’m dirty and achy, but when they’d come up I’d be nice. I preferred that, actually. Most would get their picture and their autograph and then leave. But then, May last year, or maybe June… Ming’s down, last time he came before I met you. We’re on the deck, I’m having a beer. And he suddenly goes ‘Hey, what’s that?’ He’s looking at the trees near the lake. And there’s this huge ass camera, poking through the leaves of that one tree. My heart’s suddenly racing. I grab my beer and I head inside. But Ming’s not having it. ‘I’ll beat ‘em up,’ he goes. So I go back and grab him, and he nearly punches me. I tell him not to be an idiot, and finally he comes with me. And we go inside, and have this huge row…” Norman rubbed his eyes. There were tears around his lashes. “Bet you can guess how I ended that night.”

“Migraine,” Lea said quietly.

Norman nodded. “Spent the whole night in the bathroom. Mingus found me in the morning and put me to bed…”

“Norman, this has to stop! You guys can’t keep taking this lying down.”

He looked at her, his eyes sore and exhausted. “Jonny said the same thing.”

“Well, he’s right.”

“We’re not, this year, tho. Security’s real tight. No signing outside the studio, no stopping driving to set. They got these vans to cart us around, some places we’re not allowed to drive ourselves at all. And I moved. We’ll make the new place safer. More cameras. Fuck it, I’ll hire security. I’ll keep you safe, babe…”

His gaze was so sincere, so determined, Lea believed him. Everything was on the table now. He had shared all his secrets. She felt safe, all of a sudden. It would be fine, they would make it work.

But now she had to be honest, too. There was one last thing on her mind that needed out. “There’s one more thing. I gotta talk about it, it’s driving me crazy…”

“All right,” Norman said, but he looked scared again. This was madness, Lea thought. So much fear, all the time. Poor guy. She took a deep breath.

“I…I found the ring.”

“Ring?” Norman looked confused. This was obviously not what he had expected.

“In your bag, last week.”

His face lit up and he actually gave a small grin. “Oh! That! It’s Steven’s, I had Joanne bring it to the penthouse and I brought it along with me. He’s gonna propose to his girl. It was specially made by that new place in the city. He asked me if I could be the courier.”

“Oh…”

His eyes suddenly widened. “Did…did you think I was gonna…that the ring…?”

“Well, I…”

“Oh, babe…”

“No, no, it’s fine, really. Norman, I don’…”

“I didn’t think you’d want to get married. Or I would’ve asked you already.”

“I really…what?” Lea’s heart was racing in her chest. She must have misheard.

His eyes in hers were serious again, steady now, and calm. “I hadn’t really thought about it, not since Helena. But babe, with you, right from the beginning I thought… this, us, maybe…” He nodded to himself, biting his lip. “Yeah, yeah, it’s right… if you want.”

He got up from the chair by Lea’s bed, and for a moment she thought he would actually get to one knee. But instead he sat down carefully on the side of the bed, mindful not to jolt her. He brought her right hand up to his chest and held it with both his own, and fixed her with an indescribable gaze. His eyes were sparkling; Lea had never seen him like this.

“Lea, will you marry me?”

She held his gaze, suddenly feeling calm. None of what she had planned to say was applicable any longer. The long speech she had composed for this moment, about how she loved him but marriage wasn’t for her, was gone.

It wasn’t replaced by certainty, by a dream of a perfect future. No thought of a white dress, church bells or white doves. No little girl fairy tale, no sense of finally getting what every woman supposedly dreams of came into her mind.

There was only now, the moment, where this sweet, difficult, odd, wonderful man was looking at her with so much love, such true and simple feeling that there was only one thing she could say.

“Yes,” Lea replied, squeezing his hand, astonished that this was actually her life. “Yes, I will marry you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s it, this is the end of this part of the story. Thank you all so much for reading! :)  
> And don’t be sad it’s over! I already know how the next part will start. Stay tuned!


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